We’re just back from a two-day getaway at Harrison Hot Springs Resort, a two-hour drive from Vancouver, but an entirely different world. Paul (also known here as Pater) booked the stay as a belated–or perhaps, rather, as an extended– celebration of our 45th wedding anniversary. We began our days with a swim and a soak in the hot pool, had another swim or soak in the afternoon, and in between managed several good walks along the lakeshore. I enjoyed a delicious hot-stone massage while Paul read under the tree pictured in my through-the-window sketch above. One evening we even danced to live music (although not after some serious and prolonged negotiation, some marital-pattern insights, some new resolutions made — it’s ongoing, folks, even after 45 years!)
Over meals, observing the demographic at the surrounding tables, we contemplated our ageing, our relation to our cohort, and we spent some time reviewing present and future hopes and goals and activities. Perhaps I’ll be able to develop some of those thoughts into a cohesive post soon. I suspect many of us have these moments of seeing ourselves with some surprise as part of a social group we hadn’t previously identified with. Maybe even actively resisted or avoided. There’s some intersectionality going on here, of course. Age is a factor, but there’s class and race and heterosexuality also significant contributors to an identity that can seem pretty smug, pretty unaware of, or unwilling to admit, privilege. So amidst all the comfort, we found enough discomfort to encourage thoughtful discussion and a few promises to each other. . . as I say, perhaps more later. . .
For now, back home where the September rains monopolize the week’s forecast, I’m making lists. La rentrée is well underway: We begin Italian lessons together this weekend, and my French classes start again in two weeks. Opera tickets arrived in the mail last week, and I’ve filled those dates in on the calendar. After viewing a brilliant contemporary dance adaptation of Giselle this past Saturday, we’ve added some Ballet BC performances to the fall schedule, and I’ve got tix to a one-man play next month. Add in the gym workouts, time with the grandkids, visits with friends here and on the island, and I’m very conscious that if I want time for writing and sketching — here and in my off-screen projects — I’m going to need to plan actively for it, make and protect that time.
I’m confident that my new workspace (a closet with doors removed, desk and shelves installed, some modest decoration) will make that easier — already is, for that matter. All my tools and materials are gathered in one place, where I can have a fair bit of privacy most of the day. I’ll give you a wee tour soon and tell you more about how I schedule creative time.
But right now, I’m looking at today’s list and realizing I’d better get on with it. (Something I’m working on is finding a workable balance for frequency and length of blog posts. I have a few ideas. . . )
What if I hand the mic over to you now? Has September already changed up the rhythm of your days? Is your calendar rapidly filling up right through to the end of the year? And is that exciting or exhausting for you? How do you prioritize to make fall’s activities manageable?
Partners not fond of dancing seems to be a common complaint with many couples that we know…
fortunately ny husband enjoys getting out on the dance floor and we often have other women whose husband's refuse to get up and dance join us!!
It will be interesting to read how you plan to balance your time…and continue to find time to publish your blog.
You sound as though you are going to have a very full fall! Harrison is such a restful getaway and so close to home. I've got shifts at the Writers' Festival arranged for this year. My friend and I have been doing day trips with our Van Dusen membership. Yesterday was the Beaty Museum of Biodiversity. Have you visited there? Bookclubs, gym and church. I might even join as study group. I'm interested in the Bible as Literature. Today a school principal called me about a 2-month job. It definitely is a possibility. I just got a notice of the Metropolitan Opera opening of Akhenaten. It's a new opera and I've always been interested in Egyptian history. My husband is usually playing music and I was too shy to go to dances when I was young so I don't dance well. We are fortunate to have so many opportunities.
It’s always interesting to hear how folks in the northern hemisphere speak of different seasons. I live in Australia and we pretty much have winter and summer and winter where I live is not cold at all.
My fall so to speak will be spent travelling overseas, reading, spending time with my grandchildren and daughters and sewing. Best of all I won’t be working. How fabulous is that!
In the midst of an Atlantic Canada vacation right now. The trip occupied my thoughts for so long I wonder what I will do when we return home. I expect some of my days will be weather dependent. Will I be doing yard work or building fires in the wood stove? Will we be able to secure a carpenter for a bathroom renovation? We’ve warned our long time plumber about our plans…Will we be more pro active about having dinner guests instead of just talking about it? I am curious how you will flesh out your pondering at the beginning of your post. You always make me think…Carol in VT
There are a few things on the horizon but mostly it will, I hope, be a flexible few weeks. A long weekend away to celebrate a friend's retirement, deep in Herefordshire, another weekend to walk part of the South Downs Way in the early part of November, a weekend away in Sussex to meet more friends. My weekends a the moment are shaped by family calls. Mostly, daily life will intervene to pass the time. And I fully intend to publish my second tale by October. At present I am simply staring out at the bright morning and the trees which are changing each day. That'll do for now.
Just discovered your blog actually and enjoyed my reading.It will surely help me to improve my English ! good exercise ondeed (I started Italian lessons too – on my own – hope I will stick to them… my son in law is Italia ) Well it seems you are going to be a very jusy 🐝🐝!! Enjoy it ll- 😘😘Sylvie 🇫🇷
The fall looks to busy for me…or as busy as I want it to be. Privileged indeed. Looking at my calendar, it seems that with the arrival of September I am back to worrying about school, but this time for my grandchildren. Sometimes it is the getting them there or picking them up; other times trying to fill in for parents who don't have enough leave to cover all events. My mother did much the same for me with my four so I am simply continuing the tradition. Heading overseas next weekend for a couple of weeks. Medical checkups seem to dominate the Nov calendar–mostly all the annual testing stuff. Another overseas trip is schedule for January, so some additional planning to do. As I said, busy as I want to be and very, very aware of my blessings.
Leslie: You're lucky to have a willing dance partner. This was a tricky context, to be fair to my guy, with the dance floor in the middle of the room, dining tables around, and only two or three couples at a time dancing to live music that was great but that required more complicated dance steps than our anything-goes 70s-era moves 😉
Mme: You've just mentioned two more things that I'd like to do (but maybe won't this year, in the interest of not overdoing the fall calendar). I might just take a peek at the Writers Festival offerings — and no, I haven't yet made it to the Beaty Museum, but have been meaning to get out there with my sketchbook. You're busy!
Buttercup: That's a busy fall as well, even if you scarcely need to change your wardrobe for it (I'm always amused, too, by knowing you're heading into a season opposite to ours). Yes, from one week to the next, it seems, we're suddenly having to put away one set of clothes and pull another out of their storage boxes. . . .And find our boots!
Carol in Vt: I've never seen Atlantic Canada in the fall — have the colours changed yet or are you still a few weeks early? This is probably a great time to visit, when most of the summer tourists have wandered back home. . . We've been dithering over that same question: more dinner parties or keep that goal for another year 😉
Annie: Your schedule always seems more socially formed than mine, and it looks as if you have some satisfying events ahead. But of course for now, you'll mostly be responding to your mother's needs. I hope that continues to go as well as it can and that you have some support for yourself while you support her. . . .
Sylvie: So good to see you here — your English is already very good, and we have a few other English-as-a-Second-language members in this little community. You have an Italian son-in-law as a reason for learning Italian? I have a son-in-law who led my daughter and g'daughter to Italy for work — so I now have an Italian-speaking g'daughter to keep up with (I will never be able to, but I can try!)
Mary: The privilege of being as busy as we want to be is a privilege indeed! I agree with you that it's also a privilege to be able to help with the grandkids when that's needed. Both sets of our parents lived too far away to be able to do that, and it could be a struggle . . . . .
That last comment to Annie, Sylvie, and Mary was obviously from me, not Anonymous. Thank you, Blogger, for not recognizing me after all these years 😉
September's rhythms have jolted me into very different activity as I return for what is likely my last year of teaching. I'm torn between wanting to carry on the job I love and the way my heart is calling me to other things. It's a privilege to even have the choices I do.
We spent a night or two at Harrison Hot Springs on our honeymoon, 42 years ago. Tucked in between lake and mountains, it's such a beautiful place to linger.
Welcome Sylvie!
I am getting ready for our Alaska trip on Sunday. It's pretty easy to pack for, as it's less formal than other cruises and I know I will need warm clothes and a rain jacket with a hood!
Other than that, I am switching out the summer throw pillows for the fall ones, planting some crysthanthemums in pots, and downloading some reading for the cruise. I got the new Gladwell, the new Atwood, and a paper copy of "Endurance" about Shackelton's voyage, as I had to have something nautical to read and my husband recommended it. I know the story fairly well, but am looking forward to immersing myself in it.
I am also planning a trip to Santa Monica to see some family in mid October.
After the cruise, I plan to make some changes to my diet, make it far more plant based. I hope to visit some good vegetarian/vegan restaurants in LA. I mean, if you can't find them there, then where?
Have a good fall Frances. Harrison Hot springs sounded rejuvenating. I hope to see you in the new year when I will do my trip to Portland, starting in Vancouver. Brenda
To reply to your question about Atlantic Canada…No colors yet except for the occasional stressed tree. However, we have seen some significant damage from Dorian. Our hotel was right next to “the crane” shown on CBC. We just traveled to Annapolis Royal. Some folks just got their power back today. Kejjimkujik National Park was closed due to dangerous conditions by uprooted and toppled trees. We hiked along Hirtle Beach but could not continue along the trail on the peninsula. The trail was washed away. We do expect that colors might begin appearing at the end of our trip, but with climate change, seasonal cycles are becoming unpredictable. Who knows? Carol in VT
Autumn doesn't change things much in my Highland village. It would have in Edinburgh. I was back down recently for my significant birthday, went to the French Institute for coffee and nearly wept at the list of classes and ateliers I could be doing, and films I could be seeing. The Yakkety Yak city-wide language cafe sessions have started up again. Here my weekly Pilates class has resumed and that's it! How I miss the opportunity to speak French. I did launch out on some poor French tourists in Edinburgh, trying to explain the Court of Session ruling on the Brexit-related prorogation of the UK Parliament, and was ashamed of my French. Here the garden slips into autumn and the days shorten – and the weeds are romping on! My fledgling business keeps me busy but not relaxed.
Ha – dancing! I can manage the main Scottish country dances and reels, as in my era they were taught in school (and still were at my children's private school in Edinburgh tho I think have slipped off the state school curriculum). But cannot waltz or anything else. My husband on the other hand knows all the fancy, ferociously complicated Scottish dances and was in the Scottish country dance team at university. Obvious glaring mismatch!
We are the other way round to you and Pater. I have retired and am not working full time, while my husband is still in his main career.
Hoping we might escape to Bordeaux for a long weekend before our major house renovation work starts later in the autumn.
My favourite seasons were always summer and spring,but this summer was very hot and exhausting,so autumn is very welcome indeed.
There are so many project waiting,beside the actual ones,but I've finally started with yoga (I seem to be the last person to join the club-except Sue-but she hates it,no?)
So far,it looks too much and overwhelming,in collision with everything else on my time table and plans(I even don't comment as much as I would wish,sorry, and I read less,books,blogs,news…),but I'll try to find some kind of balance and carry on
Your start looks great,so many cultural events ,new study,trip to lakes….lovely.
Dottoressa
I'm in Bordeaux right now, and have you to thank for that! it is as delightful a city as I imagine through reading your blog – thank you so much.
And yes, I'm Jewish so September (or sometimes October) truly is the New Year time. Like you, despite being retired life is always very very busy (one grandchild now, so an added and completely delightful layer of busy-ness). I too struggle with fitting it all in.
I'm so enjoying reading your blog; many of us struggle with the same or similar issues and the same or similar worries and anxieties. Where I live (in the UK) you can add the truly extraordinary political dimension to the list of worries.
September has hit me hard. I am unpacked and moved back into my house, but somehow not yet settled. Opera and Symphony and the fall season are starting and I feel like I am behind — always late, but will get settled. Meanwhile the light and the scent in the air have changed, but the heat continues unabated. Perhaps that too affects my state of mind. It will all come together….
Linda B – you tried to explain the Brexit related prorogation of the UK parliament in French? Good grief – I don't think I can do it in English. Nor even in diagrams. Kudos for trying in what is not your first language.
Frances – re finding yourself part of group you hadn't realised you'd joined (sorry – you expressed it better in your post but I cannot go back and see that from this comment box so I hope you get my meaning). Yes, isn't it shocking when that happens? Always in a negative sense I find. I mean I never find myself in the company of a group of charming, soignee, chic people and think Yep, me too.
Lorrie: I remember that last-year ambivalence, and you're right, it's tough but a privilege indeed. . . .HHS would have been a grand spot for a honeymoon, especially 42 years ago. . . .
Brenda: Enjoy that cruise — you'll be setting out this morning! A good way to launch the fall (which sounds fairly ambitious for you).
Carol: That toppled crane — scary and dramatic! As, of course, was that entire weather sequence. . .
Linda B: I wish there had been some basic dance instruction in our elementary schooling, but I suspect it might have been administered with all the joy I associate with Physical Education (not much!). And I'm with Ceri in giving you full props for attempting to explain Brexit in French!
Dottoressa: Trying "to find some balance and carry on" seems "very yoga" to me. I'd say you're already practising effectively. . . I'm sorry this has been such a busy year for you (btw, currently reading Slavenka Drakulic's Cafe Europa and finding the essays so interesting. Convenient that she writes in English! 😉
Deborah: Thanks very much for the kind words and thoughtful praise. And I'm so glad you're enjoying Bordeaux!
Mardel: Yes, it will all come together. . . You've had a fair share of upheaval and back-and-forths. Perhaps some deep breathing and sitting very still 😉
Ceri: You made me chuckle. It's true, finding oneself part of a group one doesn't necessarily want to be counted among is so much more frequent than the more attractive alternative you describe . . .
I hope you get a lot of satisfaction from your commitments. If I were taking two classes and had opera tickets and had family commitments I'd get super cranky and feel bossed around. I am not at all saying that my attitude is correct;). Just noting that for some of us commitments on set dates and times in particular take a toll in the way that social contact takes a toll on introverts, if that makes sense.
Sorry I am late at this, but I’ve been quite busy already. Term is starting, and I had to prepare the introductory lecture for my class. Whether this will be followed by more work for three 10-hour-sessions is still unknown, as it will depend on the number of students who wish to attend. But frankly, if I do not teach this winter, I may moan about the money, but I will happily embrace the additional free time.
I put my name down for an Italian Conersation course which is going to start in October. It will be very relaxing being one student among many and watch somebody else doing the hard work in front oft he classroom…
I have also scheduled three little trips for the next two months: one to Bremen to visit an exhibition of Paula Modersohn’s self-portraits, another one to Berlin, where my son finally found some semi-permanent accomodation. So I feel I should cast a maternal eye on the arrangements. And finally, I’m going to see a friend who lives near Frankfurt, visit some places which are new to me and, on the way, do some research in my mother’s footsteps.
And yes, I made a list of Christmas presents (extended, in my case, by the fact that there are several important birthdays coming up in November and early December), bought some wool (not nearly all I’m going to need) and finished the first pair of mittens.
Lisa: I understand that response — and I do get a bit cranky from time to time when the activity levels overwhelm. But we do really enjoy the opera and ballet outings — and they're spread out over months. . . . Sometimes the family commitments feel too much, but I wouldn't change that for the world. . . . 😉 I think what would make me cranky would be to cancel the stuff that's for ME in order to save energy for Them. So . . .
Eleonore: No need to apologize. Your fall sounds busy but satisfying — So good to hear your son is getting settled in Berlin — that's a very exciting city for you to visit regularly; I remember fondly our first meeting there — the delayed start as I went to the wrong place, but then a good connection through a lively discussion in that very nice cafe.
I don’t know if you will see this, but I did want to let you know about Atlantic Canada since you asked before. Yes, the colors are appearing, although not peak yet. In many spots there is no color, the leaves are a rusty brown and curling up. We talked with a local man and he told us that Hurricane Dorian churned up so much salt water that the leaves were coated in salt and died right on the trees. Any place that the trees were sheltered, they looked normal. But anywhere the trees were exposed to the wind, they looked awful. At one very fancy resort, the leaves, blossoms, and hips were blown from the rose bushes, just twigs remained. Pretty much all of the shrubs and flowers were shredded there and they had only one hiking trail (of five) open. One (famous) provincial park was closed altogether and we saw so many trees that had been uprooted, barely missing houses and boats. Some of the folks in remote places (and there are so many remote places) didn’t get their electricity back until Thursday after the storm. But at least no one lost their life.
If you get the chance, I urge you to visit the Maritimes. The beauty is extraordinary. The Cabot Trail around Cape Breton was scary but breathtaking (they are doing major construction on that road, so that added to the drama). PEI is beautiful and the people are so friendly and down to earth. Actually, everyone was friendly. The food was amazing. I had some kind of seafood every day and it was fun to experience the regional differences of the same food. For example, a staple PEI food seems to be fish cakes, baked beans, and chow. Who knew that combination would be so delicious!
We hope to get out to the west coast in a couple of years (Ireland is next) for a completely different Canadian experience! Thanks for listening…Carol in VT