I’m having a tough time right now and wasn’t going to post at all, but then I couldn’t resist taking these photos on the Seawall Run I pushed myself out to this morning.
We were supposed to go to a house concert last night featuring a wonderful piano-soprano duo, but by the time I put in a morning at work, caught the 95-minute ferry, waited through North Shore-Lions Gate traffic (you can see the top of the Lions Gate just peeking through the fog, above), I realized I had no reserve at all. Instead, Paul picked up some sushi; I ate my share and went to bed at 7 p.m., sleeping through ’til 7 this morning.
We’re going to give my mom her dinner and spend the night to help her with meds, etc., and from the e-mails I’ve been exchanging with my siblings, I’m trying to ready myself for a big change since we last saw her, only 3 weeks ago, just before her diagnosis. And I’m hoping that I’ve got most of the tears out of the way (and believe me, the last day or two have seen plenty) because those won’t help her at all. Poor wee valiant thing . . .
There are all kinds of things I could say about sunshine and fog, as featured in these photos, but I must admit that anything I could pronounce at the moment would sound forced or, worse, banal. I may be light on posting here, and I apologize that I’m not keeping up with comments on your blogs. But I do think of you, and I want to say that I find much sustenance in this community, virtual though it may be.
So many of our life passages are joyous and we anticipate them with hope. I don't know that there's any way to be ready for this one. It must help to be able to be there, to ensure that your mother isn't alone, to talk about past good times in her awake hours.
Thinking of you….
Oh dear, I wish I had some words that would help. Try to take it easy on yourself as you go through this time.
So sorry you are going through this with your mother right now. She is so lucky to have you there. I love your wonderful foggy photos.
Beautiful photos. Haven't been around for a while but sorry to hear you're going through such a difficult time. Glad you let the concert go and got some rest. Wishing you well times like this are not easy
Take good care of yourself Mater. That's the most important thing right now. Sending more hugs. xoxo
I agree with Susan P. Right now, the best thing to do, is to is to keep yourself in good condition.
Only then are you able to take care of others.
Your mother is well taken care of.
Wishing you strength at this difficult time.
I wish you and your family peace and strength.
Wishing you strength to deal with your mom's illness. Rest, as much as you're able to manage, is probably the best thing right now. My thoughts are with you.
Reading this brought tears to my eyes. Your mother must be an amazing woman to have raised a daughter as strong, loving and capable as you. I'm sending you my best, warmest wishes for strength and hugs for you.
Jennifer
In such overwrought circumstances I just try and breathe, stay focussed on the minutiae of the present moment with the loved one, to savour the small precious intimacies of right now, rather than let one's mind race to overwhelming absence in the future. It is very very hard and you must cut yourself a lot slack, which I'm glad to see you're doing by skipping a concert and just sleeping. You mind has much to process and sleep is often the best way to work through enormities of thought and feeling that the conscious self often can't cope with in one fell swoop, needs trickles of sorting and sifting from the subconscious upon each waking. I send you a firm, friendly hand squeeze over the ether as I'm English and we are a bit awkward about hugs, but rest assured my care and concern abides with you and yours.
Hester
I'm so sorry about your mother. I wish you strength through this tough time.
In sunshine and especially shadow, draw close, rest… thinking of you.
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Frances: I've been thinking about you and your family often this week and I will continue to do so. We are here when you need us. xo
Run, run, run, and breathe. That's the best. And we are blessed with this magnificent seawall. I'm so glad you've been able to run it. I wish you strength and peace. I'm sorry about your mother.
yes, wasn't the fog lovely today. I was over in Vancouver just for the day. Thinking about you. As some have already said, be good to yourself over this difficult time.
Dearest Mater – best wishes to you and your family as you go through this difficult time. Seeing such a change is very hard indeed – I'm glad you have Pater to lean on and help you.
These images evoke such melancholy…
my heart goes out to you at this difficult time.
I hope that you can find strength and comfort knowing that you are taking care of your mother.
Take care of you too mater…
Hugs
Leslie
All my best to you and yours
So sorry about your mother. We've all had, or will have this experience, and it's harder, I think, than we ever imagine it will be. I wish you strength and grace as you go through it.
Rosemary
I am so sorry. I hope your internal difficulties are all around your mother, nothing else, so at least you can focus.
The first photo is wonderful. I will be thinking of you.
thinking of you…praying for you
Oh dear, hard times. I will be thinking of you and your family.
Thanks so much to each and every one of you — your comments mean a great deal to me.
Hi,
Thinking of you a lot and wondering how you are doing. I couldn't find an email link to you so this is all I could do to check on you. Stay well
Jennifer