Wow! I don’t think I’ve ever had as big a response to a post follow so quickly on hitting that Publish button as I did with Friday’s post on Thoughts on Ageing. And not just the number of views, but the number of truly thoughtful comments, a rich conversation. Thank you for your interest, your wisdom, and your willingness to share vulnerability and offer solidarity.
A special thank you to those of your who “Bought me a Coffee” — not only is this act always a tangible signal of encouragement, an extra validation of the hours of work each post requires, but it helps to defray the numerous costs involved in maintaining a blog these days. Much appreciated! (For those of you who might be wondering how readers can “buy me a coffee,” you can click on that little blue coffee cup icon in the column to the right and see what’s involved.)
More later on what we do and don’t enjoy about ageing, but I’ve been busy answering all the great comments on that last post as well as working on my January reading post. Plus, you know, Life! But I still have all these OOTD photos I snapped over the last couple of months, and I’m cleaning up my photo files. . . .
My “Christmas dinner with the family” outfit. . .
I’ve had this grey fine wool jersey dress for a few years. It was a splurge, and I absolutely love it, although it can appear a bit sombre. Capacious pockets, swirly pleated skirt, though. Need I say more?
How better to counteract “sombre” than with a pair of red tights (wool blend, so also warm on a cold and rainy day).
As for that poinsettia brooch, I bought it at a vintage/thrift shop in the neighbourhood a day or two after my first granddaughter was born. We were still living on the island then but had stayed in the city to help out. At one point, I went out for a walk and saw this in the window — late November and the Christmas baubles were on view.
And against all the sparkle and shine, I liked the contrast, the quirkiness, of Botany in Leather! Not sure how old it was when I bought it, but I’ve had it over 15 years now. I don’t wear it often — it’s obviously seasonal, but when I do, I’ve got this lovely burnished memory of brand-new parents welcoming our granddaughter into the world. (Here is one of the surprising little pleasures of getting old — the layering and interweaving of decades of clothes and memories.)
Those shoes as well — it’s at least ten, probably more like twelve, years since I spotted them in a consignment shop and snapped them up. Think! shoes in exactly my size with a walkable heel in mint condition for under $50? Start the car! (I was reminded of this expression a few weeks ago somewhere on master-thrifter Hostess’s social media, either on her blog or in her Instagram posts.
And the Eileen Fisher, moto-style jacket in a wool bouclé that I bought a few years ago . . .
Similar vibe in the OOTD below, but that’s not the same dress. Rather, I’m wearing a thick cashmere turtleneck over a grey wool tweed pleated skirt I bought at Gap about 15 years ago. I don’t think I ever showed you the moth-hole mending I had to do on it last year, but if you enlarge the photo below and look at the bottom right, you can see a good-sized patch of visible mending — mostly a sashiko-inspired approach in subtly contrasting colour (light and dark purple). (I’ve recently noticed that the elbows on the Vince turtleneck are thinning dangerously, and I’m going to have to do some preventive mending STAT!)
And those red tights again. . . .
I’ve had fun with those this winter — and it’s been amusing to find how much my husband appreciates them. (As Sue Burpee would say, “Ha!”)
And the last in today’s series of Winter What I Wore also features red legs. Whereas I used the tights to brighten up more sombre fabrics in the two OOTDS above, this skirt is plenty festive on its own. (I first admired it when shopping with my mother, perhaps a year before she died. It went on sale, 50% off, the end of that summer, and they had it in my size! Mom approved!)
I usually keep everything else pretty simple when I wear the skirt — the plain fine-merino T is perfect, but I wanted a bit more adornment for a New Year’s dim sum feast with all our kids and grandkids in one place (what a celebration!) . . . and that necklace (by textile artist Sophie Digard) holds a special memory of a sweet little yarn shop in Siena where the owner helped me choose the right shade of embroidery floss to mend a broken section.
That EF jacket again — I sometimes struggle a bit with the look of several inches — sometimes more — of a skirt showing below one’s coat. I do have one fabulous almost ankle-length coat, but it’s a whole mood and I’m not always up for the drama. (You can see me wearing it back in 2010 when it was already a few years old and read about the descriptions it inspired — my son-in-law has a way with words 😉
Hope you enjoyed a peek at my Winter Wearings. Thanks again for your interest in my last post and in your contributions to a rich conversation. And do feel free to share the link to that post — another very tangible form of encouragement and support.
xo,
f
I really ‘enjoyed’ your previous post on aging – it resonated with so many of my recent thoughts and concerns. I want to go back and re-read and think on it some more. Thank you for that. My husband and I are finally getting back to traveling – feels like a race against time as we age and have more mobility issues. We are booked to Paris in March then heading to Amsterdam for a river cruise to Belgium and back to Amsterdam. So looking forward to this. Which brings me to a question for you. I was hoping you could tell me what hotels you have recently stayed in Paris? We are hoping for a smaller hotel – no large chain and would really appreciate your recommendations. Robyn from Burnaby
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Yes, sometimes the logistics of travel make us very aware of the ticking clock — how long will we be able to do this?
The last few years (5 or 6?) we’ve stayed at Hotel Sevres Saint Germain — a very pleasant 3-star hotel in a wonderful location in the 6th arr. We’ve been noticing a few changes, and I think that it may now be part of a chain of semi-independent hotels being run by a single management. Not sure, but we used to know all the staff who would greet us warmly on arrival and those are almost gone — and the ones who are still there apparently get deployed to other hotels as well now.
Then when I went to book myself a room there in the fall, my visit coincided with the Rugby World Cup and the algorithm vaulted the price per night into the stratosphere (4x as much as usual), so I would try it again if the price is right, but would recommend with provisos.
Perhaps other readers here might have suggestions for you as well.
Hello, late to the party here.
Robyn, we last stayed in Paris in 2018 so this may be right out of date! We stayed at Hotel
L’Empire (48 Rue de l’arbre)…small, quirky, great location.
Frances, hard for me to contemplate winter dressing but you do do it so well!
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Thanks, Genevieve
anad Robyn, I hope you see this!
Last September, I stayed at Hotel Daguerre on the rue Daguerre, a pedestrian street of restaurants and food shops. The staff were friendly and the hotel was clean.
I enjoyed sitting in my neighbourhood cafe and watching life. I was alone and had a small room but by it was certainly comfortable.
Frances, you nail winter dressing. The combinations reflect your eclectic style as you very cleverly weave together items of different ages, textures and origins. I particularly enjoy your selection of accessories and the pops of colour they bring. Poinsettia brooch anyone? Red stockings or the textile artist’s necklace? All different elements but all work well and are thoughtfully deployed. I particularly enjoy seeing your beautiful and subtly festive skirt. Its floral pattern reminds me of batik prints from the 60s. It’s very hot and sticky here and my outfits mostly comprise colourful dresses in simple shapes and natural fibres to help me stay cool. Some sandals, pretty earrings and a ring or bracelet and I’m ready for errands or catch ups with friends.
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Such kind words, Maria — thank you!
Hard to imagine “hot and sticky” from our frosty morning here, but you sound stylishly elegant in natural fibres, colourful dresses, simple accessories (I think dresses are the best in summer! But of course I like them in winter as well 😉
I enjoyed the last post and obviously I am not alone…I really appreciate you sharing your outfits too. When scrolling on Instagram I am disappointed to find there are very few women of our age sharing their style photos. BTW thank you for the mention! Start the Car!
The poinsettia brooch is stunning! A bit of vintage jewelry elevates a basic like your beautiful dress.
The red tights are fun too!
Leslie
Hostess of the Humble Bungalow
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Thanks, Leslie! As you know, we can feel quite vulnerable sharing photos of What We Wear, especially women of our generation. Yet, like you, I find it helpful and inspiring and often just reassuring to see a diversity of ages and body types and approaches to style — after decades of seeing only Tall and Slim in The Current Trends!
And you’re welcome for the mention — that expression makes me giggle 😉
I always enjoy your photos of your colourful print skirt! Boho/elegant. I have been wearing the same burgundy and hunter green tights for years now (Marks and Spencer). Women of a certain age who wear dresses , as we both do, can be challenged by hosiery. I don’t think younger women wear much. Tights are a bluestocking thing, even if they are red or green.
It’s a positive thing when people are able to communicate about ageing, loss and sadness. Such important aspects of life.
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So true, Joanne, my fellow dress-wearer! I love this: “Tights are a bluestocking thing, even if they are red or green.” It does feel like that, these days.
I have reached the stage of winter where I am bored by thick jumpers and heavy boots, tired of bundling up. My thoughts are already turning to spring and warmer weather, or at least less rain after weeks of wind, rain and mud. Can’t be long now!
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I know the feeling. We’ve had some spring fragrance in the air lately, noted on my evening walks. . . But I’m not putting any of the cold-weather gear away yet. . .
You featured my favourite skirt! Of yours, that is lol. I like a wrapped-up waist.
I’ve been packing today and although my skirt came out in the end the pea-green tights stayed in…maybe they will find a new friend. (A grey friend with partial pleats and some buckle-y business around the hips/waist. Seen somewhere, ignored, and now regretted.)
The ageing post was excellent (including all the comments). I deleted some thoughts from my comment that felt too personal (oh! how is it possible to feel such intense love and frustration at the same time) but they were mostly touched on by the group. Looking forward to the next installment.
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Buon viaggio!!
Thanks for taking a pre-travel minute to comment (and for hinting me toward the contents of those deleted comments. I have some similar combos of intense love and frustration)
I so appreciate everything you share, from these wonderful outfits to the musings in your last post–which I nearly missed, because that came out on what was my last day of visiting my son, daugher-in-law, and their newborn daughter up in Seattle. I don’t think I have much to add to the conversation on aging that hasn’t already been said, but it was clearly hitting a nerve for people. . .Thank you for opening up the conversation.
Cheers,
Linda
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You’re very welcome, Linda, and thanks for taking a minute to comment here. That newborn granddaughter puts her own little perspective on the whole question of ageing, doesn’t she?!
I now have three little granddaughters–two in Corvallis Oregon, ages four and two. Grandchildren really do give us perspective on aging! These three little girls are my biggest motivation for living as healthily as I can.
I have been thinking more than usual about my own mother since the little one was born a few weeks ago–because she was named Rayna, after my mom.
I am very aware that my mother turned 50 when my daughter was a year old–she was a much younger grandmother than I am. . .Rayna the Elder lived to be 83, and her last decade or so was plagued by many big health issues, some caused by falls, some involving increasing dementia. Her health woes have been a great motivator to continue healthy eating and lots of exercise (both physical and mental.) I really hope that I can live to see my granddaughters blossom into early adulthood, and, I know that it is certainly possible that my efforts will not pan out. In the end, I am not in full control of the outcome. Acceptance of this is a work in progress.
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I remember that you have the two in Oregon (cousins in neighbouring states! 😉
My mother was also a younger grandmother than I, and she also lived to be 83 with the last few years marked by cognitive impairment. But she was able to walk (and generally at least 10 kilometres daily) almost to the end. . . I hope I’ll manage that, but, as you say we are “not in full control of the outcome”!
(how sweet that your granddaughter bears your mother’s name, btw)
I always enjoy and get inspired by your outfit posts. I must tell you what happened this weekend on my outing to Lincoln Center. I loved your response to what I had posted. The evening with my son was wonderful. Delicious meal to celebrate the year of the Dragon, glorious concert following. I had been obsessing as to what to wear. Finally settling on a dress, Chelsea boots, and my new wool coat which is shade of blue which is nearly purple. Iris they called it. As I was emerging from from the restroom at the venue a young and rather stylish woman came over to me and told me ” I just love your outfit”! Of course I thanked her and we chatted briefly. She was especially taken with the color as it seems most New Yorkers seem to favor black. And thank you again for the ongoing dialog on aging.
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Thanks for this update, Darby—I’m delighted to read this! As much as so many women of a certain age have experienced a sense of their invisibility, I believe there are many younger women who keep an eye out for older women who inspire or at least give them an idea of what life can offer as they age. Your Iris-coloured coat would have been a beacon of hope—style doesn’t have to disappear with the years!
The fit and flare and swirl of a fine woollen dress carries it far more than any amount of glitz. And of course what you feel happy in you look happy in. I’m a great fan of bouclé and boiled wool and especially on a biker jacket. Gap has disappeared from our high streets, but is being replaced by Uniqlo (opening in Edinburgh this spring – hurrah!). But why is Uniqlo insisting on such wishy washy colours for its micro downs – pale pink and beige and grey and white? I remember visiting the shop in Antwerp several years ago and there were zingy reds and bright pink and purple and green. Ah well, maybe colour will return. Your skirt makes me think of Japan and the perfection of its chrysanthemums. Also stirred a memory of a 1989 BBC drama adaptation of the novel The Ginger Tree, where a Scottish woman in Japan in the 1900s whose husband is unfaithful falls in love with a (also married) Japanese nobleman. Looking it up just now I see that the critics at the time were lukewarm, but I enjoyed it! Think I’ll search out a second hand copy of the book – thank you for stirring that memory!
No red tights for me today – nor any sighting of my legs all winter. Today I’m in merino wool hillwalking leggings under straight Seasalt jeans, and on top, a merino wool long sleeved top, a navy and white striped heavy cotton long sleeved top from Finisterre, an orange Maison 1-2-3 roll neck sleeveless woollen vest (bought in Bordeaux) and a khaki green Uniqlo ultra light down collarless jacket. It’s all about the layers here!
Hello Linda, Uniqlo has been in Sydney since 2014 and I was an early customer. I liked their use of natural fibres, mostly cotton but also some wool and cashmere but colour palettes appear to be a weakness. Some seasons have lovely colours but too often there are seasons of wishy-washy or sludgy colours. I wait for the good seasons to replace basics and ignore the seasons of dull colours. Happily, clothes that are black, white or navy are almost always available. Items in natural fibres are still offered but aren’t as plentiful as before, with more items in synthetic or mixed fibres. The other change has been cashmere jumpers and cotton tee shirts with fabric that is noticeably thinner than the early days. Happy shopping!
Hello fellow Uniqlo customer! I wonder if the washed-out colours are influenced by Japanese fashion? “Washed-out” sounds very derogatory, perhaps I should say “delicate and pastel”. I don’t know enough about Japan to base that on any observed fact. It is a pity when the fabrics start getting thinner. That has happened with our UK high street stalwart Marks and Spencer. Many of my Uniqlo purchases have been made in Bordeaux in summer 30 degree heat and I have to do a mental adjustment while sweltering in a changing room as to whether the item will work in the Scottish winter. I will follow your advice and wait for the good colour seasons!
Linda,
Thank you for reminding me of The Ginger Tree. What a good read that was – very much under appreciated. After reading a friend’s copy, I spied it at a church thrift shop and remarked on it to the volunteer sales person who decided to read it after my recommendation. This was many years ago. What a memory! Also, my husband and I will be visiting Scotland for the first time in late April so it’s good to know we should plan on bringing layers.
How interesting that you also liked The Ginger Tree! I’ve never heard it discussed anywhere since watching the TV series all those years ago. Luckily my local library had a copy, so I now have it out on loan. The TV series was visually very rich, which is why the skirt worn by Frances stirred the memory. Yes, April is very definitely the time for layers. Don’t assume that April means Spring – you will likely have all the weathers, from snow showers, cold winds, rain to balmy Spring days, perhaps even in the same day!
Gosh! Thanks for that weather warning. Forewarned is forearmed. And I would have loved to have watched the BBC series.
As a long time reader and appreciator of your posts, I am belatedly commenting on your post a couple of months ago where you mentioned Unbound merino. Your description and pictures of your treks in Italy also appealed. My husband and I will be returning for our 12 th (?) trip to explore the northern part of Italy – Turin to Trieste. Usually we enjoy both coasts of Rome and south.
You should be getting compensated by Unbound Merino (Canadian and very fine quality products) as due to your mention, I have now purchased 9 items for both of us. Goodness – dangerous to read your enjoyable writing. Thank you
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I would love to spend some time in Trieste — just passed through it once, getting from Venice to Zagreb . . . And I also enjoy spending a bit of time in Turin. . . Pleased to hear you find Unbound Merino as good a product as we do — really good for travel!
Love that jacket with a skirt, Frances. And just love the jacket… period. Guess Paul is not a fan of the red tights?? Well, he just needs to jump on the bright tights bandwagon. I am currently looking for a pair of flats with a strap. I really like yours. I like the look of that style of shoes with jeans as well as skirts. But for the moment I am confining my search to second-hand stores. Bu-ut I’m meeting my shopping-loving niece in Montreal on Sunday. She is flying in from Calgary for a meeting with a prof for a potential place in the grad program at McGill. We’re so proud of her. But I do hope she won’t be a bad influence on me. Ha. (as I say.) 🙂
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Thanks, Sue! As it turns out, though, Paul is a huge fan of the red tights — hence, the Ha! It’s pretty amusing (I mean, at least he doesn’t say “Hubba Hubba! but it’s just ’round the corner Ha! 😉
As for your niece — what a fun meet-up, and I can imagine her talking you into something just to celebrate her good news! Won’t it be great to have her so nearby (a bad retail influence and all?!)
Your last post on aging really resonated with me. I share many of the same feelings … and fears as expressed in the comments. After my husband’s stroke caught us by surprise, I feel as though I must prepare for the other shoe to drop. And yet , each day is a gift that we must not waste so how best to appreciate it. Thanks also for sharing your OOTDs – so fun!
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We went to hear Jon Batiste and Suleika Jaouad speak last night — such a brilliant and inspiring couple. They were asked a question about urgency and its effect on creativity and while he spoke of urgent productivity, of being stoked by it, Suleika spoke of living with leukemia, and said that while she at first tried to follow the advice of those who said to “leave each day as if it were your last,” she quickly found that too exhausting, impossible to sustain. Instead, she now favours living each day as if it were her first, with a sense of wonder and curiosity. It reminded me that this was what my dad did in his last two or three years at the palliative stage of a cancer that had metastasized significantly. . .
Thanks for this wise way to look at life in a more positive and joyful manner. I will keep this in mind.
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Isn’t it good? Paul and I have been thinking about it since. . .
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Whoops! “Life each day as if it were your last” — NOT “leave” (proof-read, Frances, proof-read!)
Tights are not just for bluestockings, but Chaucer’s feisty Wife of Bath wore red stockings too. Another wonderfully alive woman! And those cute black 1920’s style shoes. I can see you doing the Charleston in those! A very elegant fashion period.
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Well, really, we bluestockings get around 😉
And yes, of course the Wife of Bath wore red stockings, that lusty woman! Thanks for reminding me — have to haul my Riverside Chaucer off the shelf and refresh my memory.
Came very late to your post on ageing and indeed I’m late to this one. However both are absolutely spot on for me. Most of my 3am thoughts were represented in your earlier post and the comments and in this post your attention to detail in winter outfits also reflects my approach to how I want to be seen. I have to admit to a great deal of FOGO at both a practical health level and I confess a little vanity. My partner of 40 years has a longstanding serious chronic health condition so I know all too well what restrictions that can put on you and the losses that come with it. I returned to acting in my mid fifties after a many years working in the NHS and now at 66, I can say it was a fantastic decision. But here’s the thing, one of the things I love most is getting to work on film sets with lots of young people who are not endlessly going on about their ailments and their grandchildren. I find myself a little alienated from many women of my age and older and feel fearful of the health issues shrinking my world and my topics of conversation!
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Thanks for commenting, Maureen, definitely better late than never and your comment adds something very honest that I find resonant. I will follow up on this with a post, as soon as I can manage. . . I think this alienation or even desire to maintain a distance from our peer group is significant and besides the completely credible reason you cite, there’s an internalized ageism here that I hope we can explore and maybe “trouble” a bit together, as a community, once I get ’round to writing another post. . . Might take me a little bit, but I’ll get there. Promise! 😉