Some of you may have noticed, if you’ve been visiting here for a while, the quotation by Oregon poet and essayist Kim Stafford arguing (or reassuring) that “Coherence is born of random abundance.”
I reminded myself of that as I sat down to put this post together. I’ve committed to writing something about what I’ve learned — and how I plan to “help myself” going forward into this eighth decade (and beyond) — from the disruption a sprained ankle brought to our plan to walk a few stages (34 – 37) of the Via Francigena last month. I’ve admitted to you that before I managed to “reframe” the unplanned limitation to my mobility I was worried and frustrated and despondent in turn.
I also told you that my worries and frustration and low spirits had as much to do with the notion of aging — my then upcoming 70th birthday, behind me now — as they did with my sprained ankle and the UTI that coincidentally followed it a few days later. We’d planned this walking holiday at least partly with the idea of celebrating the health and fitness we both still enjoy, proving to ourselves that we could still have adventures, try new things, be bold (although, yes, we chose the rather civilized rolling green hills of Tuscany, and we slept in hotels each night, had our luggage transferred for us each day, ate very well every evening. Boldness is relative!). Suddenly, sitting in a small hotel room with my foot propped up on a nearby chair, a splendid view laid out in front of me (a view my husband was currently walking through), I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d accidentally pushed the fast-forward button. Perhaps a view through the window might become my regular portion moving through the years ahead.
I’m repeating myself, I know, rather than just “getting on with” the positive and the practical. Turns out I’m a bit wary of appearing to jump on the “age is just a number” wagon, and I’m preferring to sidle mindfully toward the subject. Hence my opening reference to the Kim Stafford quotation.
The short version of what I learned through this experience is basic common sense, really, and nothing I haven’t learned before: Being practical and positive is generally more efficacious than hand-wringing.
But I’ve found that this common sense is inflected, for me at least, by my now being a (young-ish) Senior or Elder — both in how I perceive myself and in how I’m perceived by others.
And I also want to acknowledge that some of us are dealing with injuries or illnesses that make a “positive attitude” and a practical approach difficult to achieve. Being temporarily immobilized by a sprained ankle while on a walking holiday in Italy hardly qualifies me to proselytize about reframing.
I will say, though, that because of being on the cusp of 70, that injury and temporarily limited mobility did come to foreshadow the likelihood of more serious challenges to health and fitness over the next two decades I might have ahead. And I suspect I’m not alone in wondering how I, or my spouse, will weather those challenges as we age.
All of which is to say that I’m going to extend the topic of this post over the next few posts, but taking something of an oblique (i.e. sideways) and seemingly random approach — with faith in poet Stafford’s advice that the “random abundance” may yield some coherence. We can only hope 😉
And today’s random abundance, besides my words, comprises a few photos of what I’ve been wearing lately . . . primarily to show you that I’m out and about again, walking up to 8 kilometres in a day, two or three times a week. So that ankle is almost mended, although I’m taking care not to re-injure it, as you can imagine! I’m doing my physio exercises (single-leg heel raises) faithfully, and I’ve now had three strength sessions with my trainer. My physiotherapist suggested that it was the strength I’ve built through training that kept the injury from being worse and that supported my ankle’s healing. So maintaining that comes under the heading of “positive and practical.” And one of the “benefits” of my recent experience is seeing that proactive preventative training does make a difference in maintaining (and regaining) mobility.
The photos also testify, at least to me, to the pleasure I’m taking in choosing simple outfits from my closet — although they don’t show you that I’ve had more social occasions to dress for than has been the case over the last few years. Both the dressing up and the strengthening social network are important to this topic — the self-care and self-esteem associated with dressing to please ourselves and the presence of friends and/or family in our lives are both factors in maintaining health and well-being as we age.
Finally, I’m including the photos because I realized the other day that I haven’t added anything new to that Style and Fashion category (see box on the top right of this page, just under the header) since February! And while I’m always a bit shy about posting these, I have learned that readers generally appreciate them, and I like to do my part toward diversity of representation when in comes to older women wearing clothes ;-). . . So, here you go. . .
I’ve been enjoying our conversation over these last few posts, and I’ve noticed that a few of you have volunteered your age and have commented on how you’re anticipating your 70s or, if you’re already in, or beyond, them, how they’re turning out. As we continue to chat about this a bit, I’d be interested to hear more of you answer that question — either in this post or in a future one. But as always, any comment to do with anything triggered by the post is welcome (okay, not any comment, but I trust you!). Or just wave a hello. I’ll know 😉
xo,
f
Frances,
I always enjoy seeing your what I wore posts.
Your thoughts in this post resonate with me as I embark on my journey with osteoarthritis. It came on suddenly and I am still coming to terms with all it encompasses. Many of my friends are dealing with similar issues and we are all closing in on our seventies.
It will be an interesting transitional period as we change and adapt to these challenges.
I am having so much fun with fashion now that our Covid lockdown has been lifted.
Thank you for your dedication to posting on your blog your “voice” and thoughts on aging gracefully are music to my ears.
Author
I’m glad you enjoy the WIW posts. . . and sorry you’re having to deal with osteoarthritis. Your positive attitude inspires but I can imagine there will be days that’s beyond reach. We just do the best we can, right?
I always enjoy reading your thoughtful posts, Frances. And being 77, I am very much aware of the “aging process.” And I have to say, it looks like you are doing all the right things. What I am noticing among my contemporaries is the huge difference between those who have exercised and continue to exercise regularly and those who do not. It’s great to be mentally active, eat the right foods, get good sleep, have supportive friends and/or family, but if you don’t move your body regularly, the “use it or lose it” reality will catch up and you will lose it. (That being a general “you”, not the actual you.) Folks I know in their late 70s and into their 80s, barring some health issues not under their control, who have exercised regularly, especially if they have been doing it for years, possibly for their whole lives, barring some health issue not under their control, continue to live active lives, travel, have activities they love to do, and generally feel good about being alive. Thank you for writing about your thoughts and issues about getting older. They reflect what so many of us are thinking about.
Author
Thanks for your thoughtful comment, Marci, and for the very kind words about the blog. It’s good to hear from someone with some experience at this post-70 life. Moving our bodies does seem to be key, and I feel fortunate to have been able to do that since childhood (even if “physical education” at school almost convinced me I wasn’t athletic enough).
Salve, amica. We’re currently in Ripon, Yorkshire, after two wonderful weeks of visiting old friends in Hampshire and Derbyshire. Ladies I’ve knowns since I was 3, 5 and 18, so very special times.
I broke a bone in my foot and one in my ankle in the week before we left Aus, and it has caused us great angst. I bought a knee scooter before we left home, thinking it would improve my mobility, but England has too many gravel and cobbled paths, so my moon boot and crutch have got me around so far. Left the scooter with our friends, which they will try to sell. Tonight we dined out very close to our accommodation, and I wore sneakers, which seemed to work, but I’ll be wearing the boot a while more yet.
All this to say, we are invincible, and resilient. Things sometimes look different to how we planned, but it doesn’t mean we can’t go ahead. We won’t be doing as much walking, but we’re here, having a wonderful time.
Our cottage has very steep stairs, which I may tackle on all fours, ma è quello che è.
Looking forward to more of your travels, and my own
Jules
Author
Haha, at first I read your “Salve, amica” as “Salve, arnica” — a sign of how much my ankle is still on my mind 😉
So sorry about your foot and ankle — probably just as well you left the scooter with friends; I’ve heard from a few people who have further injured themselves using those devices and as you say, yours wouldn’t have been much good on cobblestone or gravel. It sounds as though you’re making the most of your travels, though, even without much walking. But yikes about those stairs! I remember negotiating ours with crutches and my leg in a (long!) cast — back when I was just 40, and I definitely wouldn’t want to do that now. No shame in crawling on all fours! 😉
As you might have anticipated, knowing that I also entered my 70s quite recently, this post resonated with me and I look forward to the upcoming ones. I do believe in the benefits of a positive attitude, but at the same time we have to be willing and able to face the reality that our bodies are aging and that the time will come when we can’t do what we once could. In the meantime, you are a great example of the importance of staying physically active for as long and as much as we’re able. 8 km walks, especially after your ankle injury, are mighty impressive! I’ve challenged myself to walk &/or hike 350 km between May 1 and Oct 31 this year. Not sure if I’ll make it or not, but having a goal makes me get out and try.
Author
I remember that you’re also a new septuagenarian. . . there’s some significance to the number, isn’t there?!
Let me quickly add that I’m still finding I need more rest after those 8 km days. I can almost feel the work my body’s doing to stitch everything back together 😉
Good for you with the goal-setting — I suspect you’ll make it!
Thank you for your great posts. They are always so interesting and thought provoking. I am just to the west of you in Burnaby and to the south a bit in age – 65 this year. My husband will be 75 in early June and had always been very strong and fit – he ran consistently until a car accident in 2015 changed everything. Although no broken bones, the damage that was done has accelerated his aging and affected his mobility. He works hard to regain what he can at the gym and at physio. We now have to plan our travels with less walking in mind – we adjust.
Given that you are in Vancouver I am always curious to know what/where you refer to when you mention a favourite breakfast spot, a french bistro or the destination of a family getaway.
Author
Hello, neighbour!
Your comment sent me on a search through earlier posts for the name of a book I read a few years ago. It’s Dr. Marc Agronin’s The End of Old Age: Living a Longer, More Purposeful Life, and what triggered my search was that your husband’s car accident made me think of what Agronin calls “Age-Point Events.” I wrote briefly about the book here, in case you’re interested.
As for the breakfast spot — that’s Cafe Portrait on Denman Street . The French bistro my sister brought me to for my birthday lunch is Tableau on Melville Street (at the Loden Hotel). And we were at Craidelonna Oceanedge in Shirley (near Sooke) for my birthday
Thank you so much – I will follow up on all your recommendations. Love the local recommendations for spots. After all I am in Burnaby – not Vancouver proper – but so relate to your experiences. Thank you for including names and places – I may follow in your footsteps.
Yikes – I am to the east of you in Burnaby not to the west.
Author
Oh, That Burnaby. . . 😉 (kidding! I knew what you meant!
I am so glad you are healing up, Frances! I am sure that your excellent conditioning did save you from even worse injury. I will share two personal experiences that are germane to this topic.
First, a few years ago, just before we were to do a late spring trip to national parks in Utah, I had to have surgery to repair the badly torn medial meniscus in my left knee–that I injured three months earlier when I tripped and fell hard on uneven pavement while jogging in my neighborhood. The pain was originally not that bad, but by the time I had that surgery, it was excruciating to walk at times. Post-surgery, I had to be on crutches, non-weight bearing, for 6 weeks. . . While my husband and our friends hiked to their hearts’ content, I sat and did lots of sketching of the amazing scenery. As I continued to recover, I actually did manage to “hike” some on those damn crutches. . . There were moments of frustration at times, but I did get stronger as the three weeks of that trip went on. . . and learned to accept what I was unable to do.
Second, partly out of that experience, I started doing pilates classes about 6 months ago. I am amazed at how much it has strengthened my core strength and balance, beyond what walking, running, hiking and cycling have done for me over the past decades. You may want to look into trying pilates after you heal up.
On a different note, I will add that I do enjoy seeing your outfits. I am trying so hard to pull out of the boring dressing I’ve done the past few years, while also accepting that my life is so much simpler now as a retired person that it is okay to dress in more “basic” clothes, and enjoy being comfortable.
Author
Ouch, Linda! that sounds horrid, especially the prolonged consequences of the fall — but great that it led to you becoming stronger and improving your balance. I’m a big fan of Pilates — did two Reformer classes weekly for about ten years and second your recommendation!
Thanks for the encouragement re the What I Wore posts — your change to retired person in a small community renovating a house and restoring a big garden is different than mine to a retired city dweller, but we’re both adapting. . .;-)
Author
Linda B, I wrote this thinking I was writing to “Linda in Scotland” — you can see her post here — in case you’re wondering how I got the wrong bio for you 😉 Whoops!
I just had my 82nd birthday this week. As I told a friend I am still not believing that I am actually this old. I try to walk each day, do some yoga or else a few exercises with weights. I am aware that I tire more easily. I try to see the wonder in the small things, watching the fledglings taking their first flight or a pair of young rabbits playing leapfrog (leapbunny?) on the lawn in back of my home. I try to let small annoyances go, they are not important. I try my best to cultivate gratitude. There is no secret to aging well, and I do think there is some luck involved no matter how we try to follow the rules. I always enjoy seeing your 00td’s Frances. I remember seeing that blouse with the multi colored circles and admiring it. One other thought is that I try not to get too disappointed when things I planned don’t work out. Try to look for the small graces in everyday life.
Author
Happy Birthday! And thanks for this comment, packed with good advice for living well beyond 70, beyond 80 (of course, your advice is great for any age, but we might be more attentive in these later decades).
I’m trying to develop some balance between staying young in my mind whilst accepting the changes in my body . Body problems can be down to genetics & luck , which we have little control over . Like you I remain very curious about the world & like to increase my knowledge . I enjoy crosswords & word puzzles too . I like meeting up with friends & chatting with passers by , but have learnt that I need time alone & am quite self sufficient . We are all different. I don’t care for milling crowds now . I realise how important it is to keep my body moving & am grateful for the dogs we have had to encourage that . Dogs have also taught me to try live for each day , to look forward to the next walk & a good meal & not feel sorry for ourselves . I’d also add a sense of humour into the mix – more important to me now than ever .
PS I also seem to be gathering a few hats – perhaps it’s an old lady thing 😁
Author
Yes, well put, Wendy — that’s the kind of balance we need to develop. And I’m also working on the balance between “meeting up with friends and chatting with passers by” and having the time alone that I need (and can fill quite happily).
The sense of humour, yes! Absolutely crucial, especially on the days when our aging bodies and brains play little jokes on us . . .
I’d say really “lean into” the hat thing! I’m thinking that a few old lady foibles will be fun to cultivate 😉
I will officially be a pensioner in July – hey hey! – this is bemusing in itself but I don’t regard this as a gateway to be an old person, merely an older person. I am planning on treating myself to first class train travel down to London as a marker as soon as the first payment hits, and a day of parading around town with stops to have a drink and something tasty along the way. The only real concession to getting older that I make is with regard to footwear – heels are less appealing. As I have osteoporosis that requires treatment, yet another interesting diversion along the route, I take care when walking since tripping would very probably end in a break. All down to genetics! Fortunately there are plenty of sneakers and low-heeled shoes out there to explore. As regards generally taking care of oneself, I genuinely enjoy thinking about what I am going to wear each day and set it out the night before so I don’t have to waste any time early in the morning – five days a week I am up just after 6am and mostly I think about feeding the cat and making tea in those moments. I like setting out feeling that I am as I wish to be perceived. Just glanced out the window to see a woman running past in the sunshine, giving it loads and looking as though she is ready for a great Saturday. It gladdens my heart.
Author
Sounds a perfect way to celebrate your pension-receiving status!
I’m with you on the flat shoes, although I’ve hung on to one or two pairs of (low) heels that I sometimes take out and consider a bit wistfully, sometimes even wear them for an evening if we haven’t far to walk. . .
I am just about to enter my sixth decade (gulp!) a few months from now and I have to say, you make 70 look pretty aspirational to me.
(I also think, stepping back a moment from how it intersected with your reasons for the trip and your broader thoughts about aging, that the kind of injury you experienced might have happened to someone of any age. But someone younger and less-wiser might not have been so diligent about preparation and recovery, nor about thinking deeply about the more philosophical lessons to be drawn. So, that is part of what I mean when I say aspirational.)
Author
Aw, thanks so much for the kind words, Sarah! I like knowing that there’s a range of decades out there among the readers.
I loved my 50s, I have to say. May you find it a good decade as well!
Ageing well is assisted by good physical and emotional self-care but there is also a strong element of good luck. By that I mean being lucky enough to be born into a family with relatively favourable genetic circumstances and the resources to provide a good standard of living, health care and education.
Anyone who can walk for 8 km with a healing ankle has obviously been taking very good physical care of themselves, so I don’t have anything to add in that respect. What I’ve become very interested in lately is how to take better care of my emotional well-being, with a view to reducing the recurring periods of low mood that began soon after I retired 6 years ago, and which were worsened by the pandemic. One helpful thing I’ve learned that I’d like to share is that, like most people, I’m better at retaining and focusing on adverse experiences. This makes sense in evolutionary terms because there is more to learn about survival from negative events than happy ones. As a correction to this I’ve been working to observe small and large moments of happiness and to really focus and absorb them, both when they occur and again afterwards. The idea is to build up a store of positive experiences to act as a counterweight to all the negative ones.
May the year ahead bring you wonder and enjoyment and thank you for sharing your journey.
Author
You’re so right, Maria, both about the luck involved in aging well and about the value of focusing on what creates instances of happiness, how to absorb and remember, in your words, “a store of positive experiences to act as a counterweight to all the negative ones.” Like you, I’ve found these “recurring periods of low mood” in the last several years and need effective reminders to lead me back into the light. Thank you!
I love your jumpsuit – suspect it’s a North American brand, but would you mind sharing where it’s from? One “ageing” trend I’ve noticed in myself is moving over more and more to workwear – because I feel “myself” in it, I love the look, and it’s so practical and not overly feminine. I’ve never been a frills and furbelows girl, and neutral dressing suits me best. So I’m stocking up on dungarees, jumpsuits, workwear trousers and shirts, trying to source organic materials, sustainable and ethical/B Corp production from small, usually British companies.
With my husband and me both in our early 60s, I’ve noticed we’re starting to weigh up big financial outlays in terms of value for money over a plucked-from-the-air time frame of the next 20 years. So installing solar panels, which we had on our house in Edinburgh and really miss up here: will we get enough benefit by the time we’re 80 to justify the cost. Of course there’s a benefit to the planet in any case (tho I did hear a caller on the France Inter podcast “La Terre au Carré” wondering about the sustainability of the panels themselves – manufacture and end of life recycling). But we’re Scottish and don’t spend money easily! I can see we’re starting to adopt the same timeframe in terms of physical activity – will I still be able to do xyz heavy work in the garden by 80 and if not what should I plan for. But perhaps one can do too much planning and not enough living.
BTW, I’m adopting the name “Linda in Scotland” when commenting in case of confusion with the other Linda B!
Author
The jumpsuit is actually by a small Danish mother-daughter company, McVerdi — I see that this year they’ve done a similar coverall in really cute vertical multicoloured stripes! (although the indigo denim might be more practical for your garden 😉
Yes, I know what you mean about the evaluation of new purchases (or even investment of time) according to whether our depreciation will be much faster than the object to be acquired!! Our car is 22 years old, albeit with relatively low numbers on the odometer, and we are probably going to buy an electric or hybrid vehicle in the next few years, but one does pause. . . 😉
And finally, thanks for going with the fuller “nom de plume” here — you obviously noted my mistaken assumption with Linda B.
I’m so glad that you’re feeling better, Frances!
OOTD are always interesting-I love your sense of style, unique,coherent (🙂), whimsical,comfortable….!
As for notion of aging and everything that goes with it- we have no crystal ball or a magical wand,things are, what and where they are, and we have to play with cards we have.Naturally,to try to live in a healthy style,exercise in a way we can,eat light,healthy and delicious food,sleep well,be kind to ourselfs and others,resolve resentments,find joy in a world around us……Sometimes a broken nail is a tragedy (if one is happy to be completely healthy) and sometimes we can deal with serious illnesses with poise,equilibrium and gratitude ( because, as Hostess would say ,it is ” The attitude of gratitude”)
or as E. Roosevelt would say “Yesterday is history,tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift,that is why they call it the present”
Dottoressa
Author
Thanks, K! So much good counsel here. It’s so important to cultivate the attitude that will make it easier to find contentment even if / when our health and fitness falter. I’ve been so impressed and inspired by the people in my life who have shown such an attitude and brought joy and grace to those around them even when very ill, in pain, and much weakened. I hope I’ll be able to honour their memory by bringing some of that attitude to whatever old age delivers.
I just turned 70 too! Happy birthday to us. I used to run and really enjoyed it. Ran races, up to half marathons. Osteoarthritis in my hips put a stop to the enjoyment (had a left hip replacement), and I gave up running almost 10 years ago. Now I walk and bike. At first, I pined away for running and pinning on my bib–being part of the crowd. Now, though, I’m so grateful to be upright and striding out in the air. Good luck to us all, and thank you, Frances, for all your words.
I’ve always been envious of your capacity to focus on fitness. One would think why envy, why not just emulate, and the answer is I don’t know! I just try to stay semi-consistent with my more meagre walks and little routine of exercises.
In line with what others have said, you’ve laid the groundwork of mobility so well. And even for those of us who have not, my elderly neighbors might be an example. When they reached their 80s they began twice-daily walks. An hour in the morning and an hour in the afternoon. He’s 93, she’s 88 or so now. Still walking, still healthy.
Indeed you were a winner at Creative Mornings!
Congrats!
I used to go in person years ago but now prefer online.
Author
I was indeed! Thank you!
I’ve just realized that I’m a couple of posts behind and had the pleasure of catching up with your OOTD, as well as your reflections on the ankle injury and recovery (the benefits of strength training in avoiding greater injury and a speedier recovery from the injury you did sustain), and your 70th birthday!
Lots of great outfits. Hats are a mainstay with me as soon as the sun comes out. Nothing like a few MOHS surgeries to reinforce the importance of hats.
I’m a few years behind you and I am aware that it’s best that I keep my eyes on the path ahead of my feet when I walk. If I want to admire the sky, a bird, the foliage, I try to remember to stop, do my admiring and then get my eyes back on the trail, watching for roots to avoid tripping.
There are the inevitable health issues and losses ahead and I try to not dwell on the possibilities. I tell myself to keep on fighting back (exercise especially).
It’s a good time of year to think positive thoughts. Lots of light, warm weather, things in bloom.
I’m glad that your ankle is better and you are back to your walks. I look forward to photos of things you encounter on those outings.
Author
It’s true, Dottie — good idea to watch where we step!
And to keep exercising, if at all possible.