“Hope” is all very well as my word for 2022, but I’m going to have to add a bit of elbow grease if I expect (hope for) that Hope to get me anywhere (more on this subject in a post to come, I’ll warn you now). Hoping to write a post, for example, isn’t going to get me anywhere if I can’t stop my brain from skittering over all and sundry ideas . . . and coax my fingers to skitter on the laptop keys instead. We’ve had some beautiful snow days here, days of deep frost, days that have allowed and encouraged laxity and indulgence and rest. A rich gift, those days, and I’m a big believer in what Katherine May espouses in her book on “wintering” (which I wrote about briefly in this post).
But now we’ve moved into a cycle not unknown to longtime residents of the SouthWest Coast of Canada, a little cycle we might call Rain-Snow-Freeze-Snow-Melt-Rain-Freeze-Melt-Slush-Snow. Repeat. Seemingly ad infinitum, although it really only began the week before Christmas and we’re just now at Twelfth Day (Epiphany).
Notwithstanding the duration, however, a certain malaise is setting in, and with it, in my case at least, an inertia. Napping and Wintering: I value both highly and practice each regularly. But “so many things to do” have begun to impinge on my consciousness, and restlessness is building. At the same time, though, as I consider various possible activities — this? or that? or maybe the other, Hmmm? — they can seem to quickly lose their value. A lot of What’s the Point? ensues. And then, oh, do I bore myself. . .
As Annie points out in her latest post, January is tough, but if we approach it like Mile 20 of a Marathon (and she should know; she’s run 10 of them!!), we can get through it, and eventually beyond, to sunshine (and even, dare I say, to Hope, or to More Hope).
I started writing an extension to Annie’s analogy, based on my single experience with running 42.2 kilometres, but that quickly became an awkward over-extension, so let me just say that I’m taking a big dose of Annie’s Practicality, choosing a Topic for Today’s Post and getting on with it.
As I said, we’ve had some lazy days around here and enjoyed them, inside eating Christmas leftovers and looking at the snow. Gradually we worked our way to the occasional yoga or strength-training workout, having assembled a handy clutch of weights, some bands, a BOSU, mats, and favourite YouTube guides over these pandemic months. We bundled up and dug out the snow boots with the best traction and decent water resistance and tried to establish some routes where sidewalks are not too treacherous. Establishing those routes, we were also re-establishing our fitness routines, so that when the roads are less treacherous, we can head to the mountain with the new snowshoes we got ourselves for Christmas.
If I’m honest, I’ve been fine with the permission to loll about a bit more. My biggest complaint has been that my winter pyjamas, two years old now, are wearing out, not as warm or cozy as I needed to achieve the right level of La paresse en douce. Whereas the fellow I live with was really missing his kayak. Normally, he bikes down to the marina four or five times a week and then paddles for an hour or two before biking home, by which time he’s had 90-minutes to 2 1/2 hours of moderately strenuous outdoor activity. The condition of the roads, though, has made biking inadvisable; walking to the marina with the paddle would be awkward; parking a challenge there and road conditions not ideal for cars either. Plus once at the marina, he’d need to dig out the kayak and carrying it to the water and down the slippery slope into water you don’t want to fall into in winter clothing. . . .
So, he’s getting restless, this guy, and the other morning decides that he needs to get out for a long walk. He doesn’t enjoy walking for the sake of walking nearly as much as I do, and he generally appreciates a good “mission” (hence a favourite family phrase “dad’s on a mission”). Having mentioned the insuffiency of my pyjamas a few times already, I jokingly suggest he make it a mission to buy me a new pair. I mention my fondness for the BedHead brand which used to be sold downtown at one of the pricier department stores. He accepts the challenge with alacrity.
An hour or so later, he calls me from one of those stores, where he’s told that there are no BedHead pjs in stock but could be ordered online. There’s another option which he’s been told are similar in quality. Would I find a pair of these acceptable or should he order BedHeads? I tell him that as long as the cotton flannelette is sturdy (thick, cozy), I’d try the others. Next, he advises that there are no prints, and the only pair in my size (he thinks a Medium; I suggest a Small would do as well; in fact, that doesn’t make a difference for choice, the selection being very limited) is, he says, Brown with Red piping. Note that no photographs are sent, and that at this point, I’m feeling responsibility and sympathy for this Man on a Mission in search of women’s pyjamas in the post-Christmas, post-New Year’s retail lull during a significant supply-chain disruption. I assure him that I trust his judgement, especially since he’s conferred with a Sales Assistant, and that I’ll see him at home after his coffee stop along the way.
When he gets home, I’m amused to see that his “brown” is actually a very light café au lait, not a colour I wear much of, but neutral and serviceable for pyjamas. The red piping is a nice touch, and I reassure him that the cotton flannelette is as thick as I’d hoped, and thank him for the effort he’s put into the purchase.
But it’s not until that evening that I try on my new pjs, thinking to snuggle into them while we watch Netflix. As soon as I unfold them, I can’t help but notice that they seem large. I check the label and see that they are, indeed, an M. Medium. Why, then, are the legs at least five inches too long? Sure, I’m short. But I’ve never found pyjama bottoms that much too long for me. I start thinking of the work it will take to hem them without losing the piping effect, wondering if I could be content just rolling them up. . . Meanwhile, I’ve discovered that not only do they have a back pocket, but there are in-seam pockets on each side! Bonus! You and I both know that we women are drastically under-served in pockets. Although I have limited use for pyjama pockets, I take a moment for a small “Hurrah.” Which is right around when I discover the button-front fly. Strange. I mean, sure, women’s jeans have button-front flies, but still, in elastic-waist pyjamas?
I wonder, out loud, whether the Man with a Mission has somehow bought me a pair of Men’s Medium pyjamas. He’s pretty vehement in his denial here. He was on the 2nd floor (Women’s Department) not the 3rd (MensWear), and he’d enlisted the help of one of the Sales Assistants, told the woman he was buying pyjamas for his wife. . . .
But then I pulled the top on, slid my arms into the sleeves only to find my fingertips inches and inches away from the opening. Shoulders with room for at least one pair of 1980s shoulder pads. Clincher? When I got him to try the red-piped “brown” top on himself, I noticed how easily and automatically he buttoned up the cozy flannelette shirt. Yep, buttons on the right, buttonholes on the left. My sweet, thoughtful Man with a Mission had found me the winter-cozy loungewear I wanted. Unfortunately, he’d bought me the men’s version. Fortunately? They fit him perfectly.
And the next day, he had another mission.
This time, it proved not to be Mission Impossible, and by the end of the day, I was wearing the prettiest new cotton flannelette pyjamas, pink floral sprig print, black piping, with black satin lining at the back neck, black satin ribbons at the waist. And so far these pyjamas are inspiring me to Loll a bit longer, to be patient with myself as I slowly emerge from the indolence of shorter, darker, colder days. (also, honestly, we look pretty cute sitting on the couch together, in our not-matching but similarly styled pjs, watching Netflix. Seniors, can’t be denied! 😉
But they’ve also inspired me to grab my sketching materials and add a page to my sketch journal.
And that step led to this next one, writing a post for you. . . (and moving through January, somewhere around Mile 20 of Annie’s marathon).
I HOPE you’ve enjoyed it, my pj-inspired post. Now, perhaps you’ll leave me a comment below. Do you have a funny story to share about shopping or gifting mistakes? Do you have a partner who loves a mission? Or maybe you’d care to share how you’re handling these January days? Or where you stand on Naps or Laziness or Wintering? All fodder for our community chats. (Those of you whose January comprises a series of sunny days in the Southern Hemisphere, I’m curious about what your moods are like these days as well. Coming out of the Christmas and New Year’s festivities into another hot day. . . . I can’t imagine, honestly.)
Pockets in pyjamas! The mind boggles. Perhaps men need to take their keys to bed with them. I shall not imagine anything else. Many thanks for the mentions and I am delighted to be paired with practicality. Our weather here is like a scaled-down version of yours – today it is slushy, snowy and wet, a most dull winter combination. My brain seems to have gone into wintering mode too, hopping about and finding it tricky to retain information. Probably not concentrating properly. I shall return to my reading and have another cup of coffee.
Author
I often wear my pjs for lounging after dinner and for the first chilly hour or two in the morning, and I might tuck my cell phone into my pocket so that I know where it is if it rings. . . and kleenex. And Eleonore (see below) has a good use for pj pockets in her morning. I don’t actually sleep in mine, so I wouldn’t have to empty the hard and lumpy objects, so I expect a hair elastic might also get stored occasionally and even a tube of Blistex when I have a cold sore. Possibly an emory board. . . (ah, this is perhaps why there’s a dearth of pockets on my pjs. . . .
Hope is the feather that perches in the soul or something like that. Emily Dickinson
Another person says, Hope requires action. It doesn’t bring forth on its own.
Great pajama story.
Jennie, San Francisco
Author
Yes, that’s such a good poem, the Emily Dickinson one, and I should perhaps print it out on the post soon, and link to a recording of it. “hope is the thing with feathers / that perches in the soul” Thank you for the reminder.
And also, what that “other person” says is so important for us to recognize. More on this later.
Pleased you enjoyed the story 😉
As a former competitive marathoner (more than twenty under my belt – not bragging, I think the folly of youth led to untold damage to my body; I am sure Annie has been more sensible), I often use the third quarter analogy for a marathon, as that was when I would notice the effort required to maintain the same pace. The final quarter was a little bit easier for me as I would treat it psychologically as a shorter distance race, i.e. 10K, so I could visualize more easily the reward for the effort. I tend to focus on the gradually-lengthening days in January, and winter running has always been my favorite (the crunch of snow, the creak of trees, the greater silence in the world).
Loved the pjs story and can understand why your husband is missing his kayaking – sounds meditative. I have intentionally purchased men’s pyjamas in Italy as I loved the thicker flannel, the many pockets and the workmanship associated with some traditional labels from the south of Italy, although I am sure I purchased a small and am moderately tall anyway. Sometimes I just want to lounge in something oversized and “man friend” style, although your feminine pyjamas sound perfectly lovely. (Agree on the absence of pockets in women’s clothing, and their often small size.)
My partner probably loves shopping more than I do and is generally better at it. I can’t figure out if it is because he is Italian or because he has two sisters. Window shopping on the passeggiata is a big thing in Italy, so there is also that. Either way, I happily go to look at/consider things he has spotted that he thinks might suit me, and have ended up with some of my favourite wardrobe pieces that way. I’m happy about that, as shopping is generally something I am happy to outsource.
Happy lounging!
Author
Brava on all those marathons, even if they were damaging.
My husband read your comment and really recognized how much kayaking serves as a meditative process for him. He’d never seen it so clearly as that before.
Oh that’s neat. I think it clicked for me because in so many ways my many years of long runs (ten years of 30k or more on Sundays) served that purpose for me. It has always been about being in nature and moving rhythmically, listening to my own heartbeat, etc. I still run but prefer to take long walks more often, which are indeed a walking meditation. I hope your husband is able to return to kayaking soon.
Oh that did make me laugh out loud, Frances, as I anticipated the climax. So glad you BOTH now have new pyjamas. Stu is out skiing today. As he has been almost every day since Christmas. Skiing on the teeniest bit of snow, and then on ice with a dusting of snow etc etc. He is desperate when he’s confined indoors. And a restless, sighing husband does interfere with one’s reading. Ha.
Happy New Year to you and Paul! xox
Author
Stu would be even more desperate if his indoor space was an urban condo! (At least when we were in the house, we had two storeys and various views and he could go out and chop kindling or whatever.)
Today I awake to several inches of the snow we had been promised. It was about six AM. but I allowed myself to crawl back under the covers and finally emerged at 8:15. By then the sparrows were attacking the bird feeder. Nothing planned for the day. I had been out the night before with family to celebrate 17 year old grandson’s birthday. The concert, which I had mentioned previously was simply wonderful, the evening was all I had hoped for. In recent years I have been allowing myself to have nice pajamas. for such a long time I made do with oversized tee shirts and the like. I think when when I retired and began to do some traveling I figured I had to improve my collection. Covid has made me come to terms with what I consider doing nothing. Idleness was something my mother simply did not tolerate. I remember one Saturday morning when I was around 15 I got up early to have a few minutes of alone time before the weekly cleaning ritual was to begin. As I sat having a cup of tea my mom descended on the kitchen to berate me for doing nothing when there was so much to be done. So long ago but so vividly remembered. Maybe a walk before the snow is gone. I do need to maintain some level of fitness. Our seats last night were at the very top of Carnegie Hall. I opted to walk the 4 flights but it was more of an effort than anticipated.
Author
I’m so glad you were able to get to that wonderful concert. Carnegie Hall — just that name evokes excitement of a very special evening.
I like your description of “nice pajamas” (you use American spelling, so I’ll stick to that here 😉 as self-care. Powerful that you have a small collection now, over-writing that earlier programming of your mom berating you for enjoying some “Paresse en douce.”
What a great story! A man with a mission is a good thing. I love cozy pyjamas. Last year, I bought 3 pair of Paper Label sleepwear. I’ve taken to wearing sweater coats, ponchos and shawls as loungewear. I won’t be wearing them outside in this weather.
Those Paris windows are the stuff of dreams.
Author
I don’t know that brand — but I also have been known to layer cardigans, ponchos, shawls over my pjs these days for added comfort against the cold!
Bright clear sunny day here today but so cold . I actually wore thermals for the morning walk . Light snow & rain in the night was followed by a hard frost so pretty treacherous underfoot . We picked our way very tentatively & managed to stay upright .
I can’t imagine Max enjoying a walk that included buying me PJ s . It would be his idea of hell & there’d be some urgent task needing to be done at home . So you are very lucky , even if he didn’t get it right first time .
Author
We have that same treacherous underfooting — and no one wants to test the Emergency Room staffing situation these days. Very uneven sidewalk-clearing here at the moment, so we’re also picking our way very tentatively.
At one point it would have been hard for me to imagine Paul buying pj’s as well, and he’s not a particularly keen shopper, nor especially good at reading labels, etc. But if he accepts a mission . . . 😉 (Also, the luck has been burnished by gentle training over the decades 😉
Laughed so hard as you began to describe parts of the pj’s that weren’t meeting expectations–so big! But happy you both got a new pair of pj’s out of Dad’s mission(s). 🙂
As for the Paris photo with those gorgeous woolens and silks…I’ll take one of each, please. Ha! Like you, I would never have entered the shop knowing even the lowest priced item would have been beyond my reach. Wouldn’t be window licking…more like window salivating (sounds so much better than drooling).
Author
Oh, I’m glad you got a good laugh. I had to be careful about when to let mine escape. Some inner chuckling as I began to suspect what was going on. But as the expression goes, All’s well that ends well . . .
Salivating works, daintier than drooling, ha!. . .
It’s early morning, soft fine rain but not cold. I’m sitting at the kitchen table with my tea looking out at the jacaranda tree. It’s sulking, battered by a summer storm, a few purple flowers remaining and fethery green leaves sparse. In a good year it’s glorious but we are a little too far south for it to be consistently happy and this is a la nina year. Which fits the general mood of uncertainty as we worry and wait to see what this new year brings.
My pjs tend to utilitarian flannel in winter and cotton lawn in summer and definitely pockets for tissues but I do love those Paris windows. I rather fancy the silk satin camisole with the flower sprigs. Now that I think of it camisoles would be the perfect thing to make with the celadon silk satin a friend gave me.
I’m impressed with your husband. Mine is ok waiting for me while I shop but entering a womens lingerie department on his own, never!
Author
Lovely description of your early morning. I remember jacaranda trees from a visit to Lisbon years ago. I’d never seen them before and oh, that gorgeous purple canopy over so much of the city!
Celadon silk satin camisole — yes! you must make that!
What I am trying to figure out is why you would not go into every store and just enjoy looking up close at all the wonderful things. Window shopping is for when the stores are Closed. Even if I could not afford anything else I would have purchased those huge lavender wands to put in my drawers….I have small ones but those are huge and would make everything smell very nice….and even if it is just my old loved clothing it would seem fresh and “new” if if smelled nice from a French lavender wand.
Author
Oh well, we must make choices, after all, and yours will be different than mine. . . Just imagine that I might have seen many other wonderful things without popping into all the shops and even with my wallet tucked tightly inside my bag.
And now you know where you’ll be able to find those lavender wands when you’re in Paris. You’re welcome 😉
What a fabulous pyjama story – please thank Paul for the giggle! My husband buys his own clothes, and enjoys doing so, and he’s very talented at researching and purchasing electronic equipment and assorted astronomy gear (his passion) but there is no way I’d send him on a clothes mission for me unless I equipped him with a photo, style number and size of the garment and the name and location of a particular shop. Even then, I’d hold my breath. He has no instinct for women’s clothes and would always choose something that wasn’t quite right if left to his own devices.
La Niña is back here after a short holiday and it’s having the same effect on me as your cold weather is having on you, lethargy and slowness. We put all the Christmas things away before Epiphany and I’ve done some mending, oven cleaning and some walks in the cool of the mornings but I’ve also read a lot (yay, I seem to be coming out of my reading slump) and watched stuff on our streaming services. Omicron is raging here so I’m keeping close to home. I love the no-man’s land between Christmas and New Year when every day feels like Sunday, except of course when it is Sunday, as I never feel any guilt doing as much or as little as I want. I’m also fond of January as it’s my birthday month, and it can be lovely when it’s not ridiculously hot, humid or wet 😊 In conclusion, may I say how much I love the sketch you did of your new pjs – Paul did very well in the end.
Author
Until a few years ago, Paul rarely shopped on his own at all, except for gear for outdoor activities, and even then, more frugal than profligate by a long shot. And, honestly, the mistake he made (which was the salesclerk’s fault, to be fair, and hard to catch given he’d hardly be trying on the pjs for his wife!) was not an unprecedented one. . . But he does like purposeful activity that gets him out and about, although there are limits.
Glad to hear you’re getting your reading mojo back — I know you were missing that!
That’s re the sketch — and yes, he did, didn’t he?
And finally, Happy Birthday Month!
Oh My God…I can’t stop laughing because I keep replaying your hilarious descriptions! How patient and kind you were…must be love❤️
Author
I think it must be! And really, a key to a long marriage might just be the ability to laugh together, right?
A well-spun tale with detail that made me giggle. Some of my most worn items of clothing are those bought for me by my husband. He takes infinite care and time in choosing something. As I read and respond to blogs this Friday evening, he is lounging in his pajamas and I am inspired to go upstairs and put mine on.
Author
So pleased you enjoyed my little anecdote! And how lucky you are to have a husband who is such a good “personal shopper” for you!
cet episode de Man on a mission m’a beaucoup fait rire ! Tu décris tellement bien les choses, it’s like heing in a film ! and ….. so good to improve my 🇬🇧 vocabulary 😂👍
Author
Ah, merci, Sylvie!
I find so sweet that Paul was on a mission and that you have matching PJ’s.
I blame the salesperson 😊 although no one is to blame-two new PJ’s!
Dottoressa
Author
It was absolutely the salesperson’s fault — he had no reason not to trust that he was being given a pair of Women’s pyjamas, no reason to unfold them and spot the button-fly or the very “comfortable, roomy” fit! But as you say, the result is a happy one in the end, so we won’t point any fingers 😉
I am completely with you on the subject of pockets in PJ bottoms – I need them to store my keys when I hop out to get my morning paper from the letter box. And your story was very sweet. Quite a happy ending: lounging together in fashionable new pjs.
Author
Very good reason for pockets in PJ bottoms!
Hi Frances, I’m so pleased I’ve chanced upon your blog! I love the way you write.
I’ve always loved January in Australia…long, lazy days of swimming, watching cricket, barbeques, reading and sometimes not doing much at all! I’m a big fan of the nap😄
Your pyjama story made me laugh and your focus on ‘hope’ resonates with me.
Author
Thanks, Genevieve, for the encouraging words. I’m pleased to have you here — another fan of napping!
Your January sounds like our July, maybe August. . . I can see how that easy lassitude could suit the post-festivities mood.
What a wonderful story, and a sweet man to take on the adventure. Happy new year!
Author
I’m glad you enjoyed it, Mardel. He is pretty sweet, I must admit. Happy New Year to you as well!
Loved the story – and I’m a big fan of pjs with pockets. I bought some from Uniqlo last winter and they are my favourite lounging around pants. Although we are in the Southern Hemisphere, in Tasmania the weather is so capricious that we lit the fire a few times between Christmas and New Year (admittedly only in the evening and we didn’t REALLY need to, but it was cosy). Hot days after Christmas are for lounging around complaining about the heat while watching the cricket and/or eating prawns and/or going to the beach.
Author
Thanks Tiffany! I should have thought of Uniqlo for pjs and will check them out. My favourite ever summer pyjamas are from Muji — the fabric is something like two layers of a soft brushed cotton lawn, airily joined together by teeny spaced stitches. I’m describing it poorly but I could spend all my summers entirely in garments of this fabric (in navy with small white dots). . . .Would suit your “hot days after Christmas” (and thanks for that report — reading it quickly, I had you eating crickets and I already know you’re culinary adventurous so I took it in stride 😉
This was probably the most adorable story I’ve read on the Internet in ages and ages and ages. Thank you.
Author
Aw, you’re so welcome, my friend! He’s a pretty adorable guy 😉