In this peculiar context of post-Christmas contented fatigue and mild, lazy interest (honestly, I can’t muster much excitement at the moment) in the start of a new year, I’ve been moving through various stages of puttering and torpor punctuated by bursts of somewhat focused activity.
Here in Vancouver and/or in British Columbia, we’ve broken a third weather record in one year. Disturbing evidence of climate change: the summer’s heat dome which brought drought and killing (literally, for some precariously housed citizens) temperatures; the fall’s “atmospheric rivers” — again, death and destruction; and this past week, a record for cold temperature.
All compounded by a “fifth wave” of Covid which is threatening to overwhelm various systems, most importantly that of health care. Parents across the province are scrambling now to figure out childcare after yesterday’s announcement that school winter break will be prolonged at least a week. Up until two weeks ago, I only knew a handful of people who’d had Covid; I can easily count ten now who are isolating with symptoms, some with confirmed positive test results, some not bothering, daunted by the prospect of venturing out, fever and cough and all, in these freezing temperatures.
And yet. . . we rejoiced in gathering with the families of two (of our three) daughters and a son in comfortable settings, festively decorated, with plentiful and delicious food and drink. We even had a chaotic and wonderful WhatsApp video conversation with the Rome crew so that the cousins could do a “show and tell” on Christmas Day. And, of course, Pater and I continue to review our memories of that fortunately timed trip to Rome last month, all those hugs we stored away.
It’s perplexing, trying to figure out how to hold these different realities together, trying to discern responsibilities, to own privileges, but also to make room for the joys that make life worthwhile. Finding ways to model hope for the young ones who are growing up into a world so different from the one we were born into.
The short yoga practice I did today (I’ve been trying to follow Yoga with Adriene’s calendar for an at-home practice these last few months) is called Anchor in Hope, and I’m on the verge, today, of declaring “Hope” to be my Word of the Year for 2022 (I’ve never chosen a Word of the Year before; any of you?). Not a naïve hope, but one paired with determination or will, one rooted in Trust — trust in myself, trust in others, trust in community, trust in possibility, trust in process, trust in the power of small, meaningful acts.
So today again, as I have most of this week, I’m anchoring myself in simple activities. It’s a bread-making day, and I’ve also soaked and blocked the three simple cuffed hats I knit recently (one with a pompom for a Little Guy who thinks many things are better with pompoms — he’s not wrong!). I’m visibly mending (oh, so visible, you’ll be able to see my elbows from a block away) a sweater.
All three of these domestic activities involve making something from materials I have in my home, so a fourth activity has simply been thinking about my good fortune. Then planning ways to use up more of the surplus around here. . . and trying to shift a tendency to accumulate, all that collective cultural permission we consumers are encouraged to take to Buying, Acquiring, Just Treating Ourselves. Retail Therapy. Coy references to our Yarn Stash and how we hide or disguise it. (For “yarn stash” I could substitute “shoes” or “boots” or whatever in years gone by).
But gently. Gently. Chiding and shaming myself has a risk of pushing me to wilful denial, and I Hope to confront the planet’s big truths (climate change, pandemic, social injustice, Whew!) without being overwhelmed.
This is another of those posts that I begin not quite knowing what I’m going to say. . . and having discovered, as I write, what I needed to nudge into coherence, I’m not at all sure how I might end. Nothing conclusive, if you don’t mind. Just a determination to move forward into the new year with hope.
And if my photos of happiness or joy or contentment or beauty observed create a dissonance with my cataloguing of the problems that confront us right now, well. . . .I commit to doing more of that (not necessarily more of the photos, but rather more of the juxtaposition of the problems and the welcome relief) as we leave 2021 behind and launch ourselves into 2022. Because I think that dissonance can scratch out space for Hope.
If I try to think this any further right now, I’m afraid I’m about half a sentence away from platitudes, and those (to me, at least) are the opposite of any kind of authentic hope.
So I will just wish you — I will Hope for you — a Happy New Year! (yes, it’s a bit premature, but I’m going to take a few days off now) — see you in 2022, when I will answer all the comments you’ll leave below. Agree? Disagree? Share a resolution? Or just wave at me from your NYE party. . .
xo,
f
p.s. Thanks for all your comments on the last post — please excuse my not taking time to answer them all, but family and down time took precedence.
On an earlier post, I answered Elizabeth’s request for my tourtière recipe, but in case you didn’t see that and would like to try making your own, this is what I follow. It’s good enough that the family’s kept me making them for 15 years now.
You have expressed so well the tension I have been feeling between the abundance of good in my life – family, housing, plenty of food and clothing, and choice – and the distress so many people are currently experiencing due to myriad causes. Like you, I take refuge and find comfort and even joy in the immediacy of my own life. Hope is desperately needed all around. A good word for 2022.
Author
Thanks, Lorrie. We do what we can, right?
Lots of those feelings here but I’ll tell you what cheered me up today . I have quite a few children for whom I buy Christmas presents but I’m so tired of not knowing what to buy & I find the whole materialistic business quite depressing . So this year I sent donations in their names to the OXFAM charity & a card to each child explaining what their donation will buy – toilets , water pumps etc . Then I sat back wondering how they would be received . First to come back was my nephew’s 14 year old , adopted at 18 months old & a real asset to the family . We got a pic of him holding up the card & beaming . He said he was pleased to have done a good thing – especially when he didn’t have to do anything ! Next were the children next door 11 & 8 shouting over the hedge that it was their best present . So far so good . And I’m sitting here with a big smile on my face for a change . Perhaps this could be a good sign for the future . Happy New Year to you & your family Frances , may there be many get togethers in 2022 .
Wendy, I love this. Happy New Year to you and your family!
Author
Wendy, this comment made my day! What a wonderful experiment with brilliant results — so HOPE-ful!
Happy New Year, Frances. I agree, that is the thing, to hold an understanding of privilege, and compassion for those without, and gratitude for one’s own, and simple joy no matter how you find it. You’ve always been such a thoughtful and eloquent voice for the concept of privilege. Thank you.
I’ve had a comparatively easy pandemic, as you know, and I have been thinking that the three things I’ve missed are friends, novelty and service. Friends, well, yes. Novelty of travel, of just plain going out. And service to others not in my family. So as soon as the pandemic allows, I’m thinking to start volunteering with the elderly in my community who don’t have the resources for care. And also visiting friends:)
Author
Friends, novelty, service. . . yes, I can relate to this although I’ve perhaps managed more novelty than you, especially given that trip last month.
I’m interested that you’re thinking about connecting with the elderly, after your earlier volunteer work with children (but I’m also thinking of the time you spent with your mother, in particular, and how much joy your visits brought both of you, although often difficult).
Lorrie (above) did an elegant job of expressing my same feelings about your post, so no point in trying to improve upon it.
As for a word for the year, I have, periodically, over the past decade or so, picked one. I’m just not always good about applying it over the course of 365 days. No doubt a lack of discipline on my part. Must admit that the word ‘move’ has been dancing around in my brain the last couple of weeks. A word that could have many dimensions–physically, mentally and emotionally: To change my abode. To keep my body moving (important in the eighth decade). To move my mind in unexplored directions. To allow myself to be moved by art, by kindness, by gratitude. Time will tell whether I manage to keep that word in practice for 2022.
A Happy and Hopeful New Year to you and yours, Frances.
PS…V. sorry to tell you that I did not get an email alert for this post (…know how aggravating that is for you). However, I have your blog bookmarked so I check for your posts fairly regularly.
Author
Such a good word, Mary! I love the many ways you’re already interpreting it.
I have my doubts about how disciplined I’ll be in carrying my word through the year, but I can HOPE, right? 😉
And yes, sigh, I know that email didn’t go out, although it shows as sent (I subscribe as well, so that I can see if it shows up in my mailbox). . . I’ve put a word in for help, but timing isn’t good with the New Year’s break and all. Counselling patience for myself . . . So glad you stopped by anyway. Thank you!
Move was my word for 2021, and it worked a treat! Not only our move to Portugal, but my new daily walking habit, and moving things out of my life (and head!) that no longer serve me. I hope it’s a great word for you.
I agree with you that hope and trust are very good starting points from which to head into 2022. And gratitude, whenever there is reason for it. I was able to spend Christmas with the extended family (at one moment there were 10 of us around the table – a number that would not impress you, of course). I still feel grateful that we had a warm house to meet in, nice food to share, and that we were able to come together at all.
Thank you for sharing more pictures of your mended sweater. I am looking forward to watching it turn into a unique piece of art.
Author
Oh, that’s wonderful that you were able to gather for a meal again!
I’m having fun with that sweater — I’m glad you’re enjoying watching the process 😉
Happy New Year Frances, may it be filled with more good times than the world has seen recently. It’s nearly 10 am on NY morning here and I was more than happy to farewell the mixed bag that was 2021 last night. I had high hopes for last year, and still have them for this year, so perhaps I’m not the realist (or sometimes pessimist) I think I am. A platitude I love is “hope is the possibility of change”. Not sure where I first came across it but it has long resonated with me and has helped me get through the last 2 troubled years. There is always good and bad in every year but the balance recently has been off. There were many good moments, but too many awful ones. And I know how lucky I am living in privilege – a loving family, a house and garden, and many other tangible and intangible resources. Your post reflects my mood, as they often do, and I’m especially grateful for your gorgeous photos. I follow a couple of professional photographers on Instagram and your images are just as delightful. You look wonderful in your tan boots and tuxedo-like outfit. Every best wish for hope and happiness in 2022, xx
Author
I also vacillate between thinking I’m a pessimist or an optimist, realist or idealist — do you think perhaps the best people are both, and we can count ourselves in that number? 😉
I don’t think that “hope is the possibility of change” is what I would call a platitude — perhaps more of a mantra. . . And I think this phrase gets to the heart of why I’ve chosen this word for the year.
Thanks so much for your kind words and encouragement, always much appreciated.
I have also been thinking about a word for the coming year, not resolutions which are never kept and have two, gratitude and kindness. Christmas day once we were all together was wonderful. For a long time I really did not know closely anyone who had covid. In the last few weeks, since the new variation, I have learned several people I know have become ill. None of them were vaccinated. I am so looking forward to joining my son and his family on Jan. 6, my grandson’s birthday. he is a budding musician and we are going to go to Carnegie Hall in Manhattan to hear the New York Philharmonic. This would be the first time since the lockdowns that I have been in the city. I hope( there’s that word) that this can happen, as a number of venues have had to shut down. Your photos of the snow were lovely. On the morning of Christmas Eve I did awaken to a light snowfall, magical. But it has been strangely warm for the last several days. Personally, as one who is always cold, welcome, but what have we done to this planet? I too must report that I did not get notificatio9n of this post but I do have my ways of finding you.
Author
Gratitude and Kindness — two very good words to guide one through the year.
Oh, such an epiphany celebration, what a wonderful birthday gift! I will be crossing my fingers for you hoping that may happen as planned.
Happy New Year!
Hope is good,hope is blessed….
World and people seem to live in multiple parallel realities
No New Year resolutions here…I have only a couple of directions right now….
I didn’t get e-mail notification this time (so, only serendipity and thinking of you)
<3
Dottoressa
Author
Yes, “multiple parallel realities” — this phrase strikes me as so true.
And I’m happy that serendipity brought you here even if the email didn’t!
A beautiful post, Frances.
I’ve never really had a word of the year, but the one that keeps ticking in my head right now is “perseverance.” Not letting the crazy (negative) winds blow me off course, just keep moving forward as best I can, and hopefully continuing to learn (and do better) in the process.
Author
Oh, “perseverance” works well! (and perhaps I could argue that it testifies to, or depends on, hope). A friend used to quote her therapist to me: “Just keep showing up,” she would say, and sometimes that’s the best we can do, and it seems to add up. . . xo
Such a thoughtful and thought provoking post! I have chosen a word for each year since 2017. My word for 2022 is freedom which I explain in the blog post that I published yesterday, January 1. Though the current pandemic has curtailed many of our freedoms, I am celebrating new-found freedom on a personal level.
Author
“Freedom” is such a good choice — as some freedoms return, I think we might be more appreciative of them than ever before, and I’m curious to read your post and see which new ones you’re discovering. (also, I’m thinking that you must find it worthwhile to choose a word each year, since you’ve been doing it for a while now)
Thank you for the recipe. My mother and I would make this together at Christmas, the method was lost with her. My word for the second year is relax. Unconscious tension in the body is only tamed with attention.
Thank you also for your work
Author
Oh yes! “Unconscious tension in the body is only tamed with attention.” So very true. Jaws, shoulder, hips the primary culprits in my case and the reason I’m trying to get closer to a daily yoga practice.
I think the tourtière recipe is a good one — I generally use the recipe on the Tenderflake lard package, but last year I did try the pastry they suggest and we enjoyed that as well. I suspect that as you make your tourtière, your mother’s ways might come back to you and you’ll modify accordingly. I’d love to know how it turns out.
I’m so glad I found your blog, Happy New Year!
Author
Aw, thanks Karen! I’m pleased to have you here!
Such beautiful writing, and the comments also….
Hope, if we don’t have that, we have nothing.
Ali
Author
Thanks, Ali! I hope you’re staying cozy in these stormy days . . .
I’ve been choosing a word with writer friends for over a decade now, and some words (and years!) have been more successful than others. Thrive was an excellent year – I really focused on enjoying and being grateful for the abundance in my life. Then there was the year I chose Simplify, thinking about streamlining my stuff. Instead I became administrator of my mother’s estate after her sudden death, and had to streamline hers. I’ve been more careful since then! My word this year is Create, because I need to get myself back to that mindset, in all its iterations.
Frances, I love your outfit. The white shirt peeking out under the hem of your sweater, the flash of your yellow boots – makes me want to play in my own closet and create something with a similar feeling.
Author
It seems to be that you’ve already been Creating, making a new home and community for yourself, but I know you’re probably wanting to get back into a routine for your writing.
Thanks re the outfit! I’ll have to post about the inspiration for it, because in fact I went to my closet after seeing something a Slow Fashion Influencer posted a while ago. . . (her outfit included a classic pair of knee-high boots, either dark brown or black. But I thought my short yellow ones might work as well. 😉