Funny to look back at mylast few posts of 2009 and see that I was struggling then with what to do about the blog, whether or not to keep it going. . . . still wittering about that, as you know. . . . yet apparently I’m committed. . .
Since those posts in 2009:
— I worked for most of the decade at a job I loved. I read and researched and planned classes and facilitated lively and satisfying discussions and coaxed recalcitrant students and marked papers and designed exams and tweaked old courses and built exciting (to me, at least) new ones and served on committees and brought poets to campus and wrote referral letters for great sstudents. . . .
–I ran many, many kilometres. Picked up some Half Marathon participant medals, and managed, with the help of my sister, to break the two-hour mark (actually ran it in 1:55!!) . And I completed a full Marathon!! Also got somewhat comfortable with riding my bike in the city,and no longer hesitate at all to go out on my own. Climbed some good hills as well, some of them way more Badass than I’ll ever be. Discovered the Roger Lapébie cycling routefrom Bordeaux to Créon and have been able to cycle it several times since — high on my “happy place” list.
— I retired and began to figure out new ways to shape my days. I’m reading and knitting, drawing and painting more than I ever had time to before. I’ve taken watercolour classes and drawing workshops as well as classes in French and Italian. I worked with a personal trainer to learn how to use gym equipment and feel confident in that environment — this is a work in progress but my strength and my muscle mass have improved enough that they make a noticeable difference in my weight management (I was previously skeptical about claims like this, and it took well over a year to begin to notice the change in my own body, but it’s clear now, although not huge).
–Finished up the whole menopause thing and the medical profession has obviously stamped “post-menopausal woman” across my forehead. I try to stay out of their way as much as possible but experienced my first UTI ever (I know! So lucky!) two years ago and its stubborn recurrence kept me on antibiotics for almost a year. . .
— I’ve had so much dental work. Not sure that this decade would qualify for the most dental work of my life, but it would be a contender. Repairing old work, replacing a crown, losing a whole tooth!, and now, wearing Invisalign to straighten teeth for better dental health and for a more confident smile.
— We moved. I’ve almost adjusted. This might be the biggest change of the decade, but it’s began to take on a different proportion as I write this post, as I place that change against births and deaths and marriages. . .
— Three of our four married (our oldest was married before 2009) — to partners as good as any parent could ever hope for. . . .
–Three good friends lost their husbands: one instantly, early 50s, the other two with fewer than three months’ from diagnosis to death. Our family lost a beautiful young man — beloved son, cousin, nephew, husband, father. One of his cousins, mother of four small boys, has just finished the long, long chemo regime that followed removal of a brain tumour. Another cousin, a brilliant and beautiful soul, promising on so many levels throughout childhood and adolescence, has struggled with gender/sexuality in ways that have dislodged identity and mental health very significantly. . . We had a cancer scare with one of ours, although the (statistically very rare) type she had is since being reclassified and will not be classified as cancer. Surgery and precautionary radiation/chemo and she’s fine.
–I took a half-year sabbatical which coincided with the start of my husband’s retirement. Good planning in some ways; not ideal in others. Seems so long ago now. . . .
— My mother died (my father passed away the preceding decade, in 2000), and then his father and then his mother. And in the wake of his father’s death, we became estranged from most of his family. I would love to think another decade might reverse that loss. The others, obviously, are irreversible.
— Five of our six grandchildren were born in those ten years — and learned to walk and talk as well, although the youngest fellow is still working on the latter. We’ve been to the oldest two’s school Christmas concerts and dance recitals, and we’ve heard new pieces played on the piano by two granddaughters. So much exuberant art has been created at our dining table; so many books read aloud and listened to, raptly, on the couch; so many stories played out by Playmobil figures in the Playmobil house. . . . So many nights of little people sleeping over at Nana and Granddad’s, sleeping through the night as they won’t do at home (sorry parents!). . . .
–Visited France, Italy, England, Croatia, Portugal, Spain, Germany, took the train through Switzerland, Slovenia, drove through Bosnia-Herzegovina. . . cities Brussels, Amsterdam, Portland, Seattle, San Francisco, Ottawa, Montreal, Birmingham, Haarlem, Lyon, Metz, Edinburgh, Zurich, Florence, Turin, Venice. . . and certainly others that I’m forgetting. . .
–I let myhair go grey. . . .
–Wrote and revised a manuscript, a memoir, a sort of biography of my mother, the only research being my memories, sifted and resifted through my adult perspective, the perspective of a bereaved adult child who perhaps wishes she’d been a better daughter . . . Still unsure whether I’ll do more with this. Verdict’s leaning to “No” at the moment, if only by default.
— Outlined/Structured the whole, and then wrote perhaps a third of another manuscript, Domestic Romance/Road Trip-ish. Haven’t done much with it for several months and debating whether or not to resume. Either of these two manuscripts could be used as structures to lever me into the next decade. But I’m also contemplating learning “just to be” a bit more. . . Of course, being me, I’d have to make a goal of the “being.” #HaHaNotSoHa. . . .
–Read copiously, and kept a record of my reading here
And despite my intermittent wittering about whether I should or shouldn’t keep showing up here, I’ve written hundreds of posts and hosted a wonderful community. I’ve even met many fellow bloggers and a few blog readers — in Ottawa, Montreal, SanFrancisco, Seattle, Berlin, Munich, Bordeaux, Edinburgh, London, Paris, Zagreb. . .
And for the last four or five years I’ve had an Instagram account, another opportunity to meet like-minded people, building and extending community. In January this year, I set up a second Instagram account to keep track of my reading.. .
Which reminds me . . . I want to add one last post of the year to my Reading Blog as well, so I wish you all a Happy New Year, and I hope we’ll have many lively conversations throughout 2020 and perhaps well into the next decade.
That's a lot of life in that decade. In all its forms. You have prompted me to mentally do the same and I expect I will be surprised at what emerges. Quietly contemplating what to do in the coming year and what I would like to undertake. May your new year and new decade get off to a happy and peaceful start.
What a full decade. Wishing you all the best as the new one begins. Xx
What a wonderful life! I look up to you. I don't remember when I started to follow your blog and instagram but thank you for both. You inspire me. All best wishes for a happy new year to you and yours! I look forward to another year of your blog and instagram. It has enriched my life.
slf
Best wishes for 2020! I look forward to another year of your writing. As always, thank you for your thoughtful reflections.
Suz from Vancouver
Fascinating!
Happy New Year!
Dottoressa
A little capsulized version of your 2010's. So many changes. So much to absorb. We simply may not realize the full extent of those changes or the myriad of ways they impact us until we look back with intent. Hoping the Twenties are good to you.
Annie: It was surprising — it began as a rather impromptu post, and then I just went with the process. There's much that I've forgotten or left out deliberately, and of course I've added to the list mentally since I wrote it. I don't know that I ever stopped to look back much over past decades, and there won't be many opportunities to do so left. . . . I think that was part of the interest for me, as well. . .
Jen: Thank you! And the same to you!
SLF: I don't know that I deserve that at all, but thank you for saying it. I think it's useful to see different possibilities for life at our age and I hope I add something to the mix.
Suz: Thank you! Readers like you make it worth taking time to reflect as thoughtfully as I can.
Dottoressa: It's a bit crazy, isn't it, what we see when we look back over ten years?!
Mary: This phrase, "looking back with intent" — yes, even though this began as an impromptu exercise, that's what I ended up doing, and now I'm thinking of how to bring that retrospection forward to these Twenties! (so many decades now, and we can remember so clearly how surprising that turn into the century was. . . .
That was a lovely read, Frances. How you balanced between the poignant and the exuberant. Between the listing and the analysis. I'm so glad that letting your hair go grey had a spot all by itself. As an unrepentant hair obsessive, I approve of singling out that momentous event. Ha. What a rich decade you have had. Thanks for sharing as much of it as you feel comfortable doing. And so happy you're going to keep the blog going. xo
I love your writing and your gorgeous photos. I’ve learned so much about Canada, France, Italy and many other places through your blog and IG. You have expanded my knowledge of art and literature and I’m especially grateful for your musings on retiring and growing older – which is most definitely not for cowards 😉 – things I’ve struggled with in the decade that has now passed. Thank you so much for all these treasures and I’m so glad you are committed to blogging. I would be very sad to lose your warmth, compassion and intelligence. May 2020 bring you and yours only good things.
To think about a chunk of time that large is a workout for mind and soul.
It is heartening to read how full it has been, bringing you joy, expansive views in so many ways and so many places.
What amazes me about you is your curiosity about the world and others. That is your secret weapon; your link to the fountain of "youth".
Your willingness to take risks and chances, even though you may tire yourself in the processing of those chances, is a testament to a spirit that is so admirable. So many, as they age, allow their worlds to get smaller, but I never,ever see that happening with you.
The episodes that you mention as painful challenges for your close and wider family are sobering-so few of us escape those in some form- but your flame is still burning bright-all credit to your perseverance and ability to reach for and embrace the good, the new, the possible.
Let's face it, life's a bitch at times, but I admire the depth and breadth of your experience and how you have met it, headed it off at the pass, endured it, embraced it. We need so many skills to navigate grown up life.
Thank you for writing this for us.
A line from The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood sums up these kind of life reflections for me-"Life is short, but it is wide". Amen.
Happy New Year all.
A.in London
Happy New Year, Frances…wee morning hours here in our new home, Ventura, CA. Just want to take a moment and say, "Thank you" for all that you share on this blog. What a community you have gathered! I so agree with A in London about your "link to the fountain of youth".
Looking forward to all that this new decade holds.
Charlene H
I'm glad I found your blog–was googling 'sashiko' and voila, here I am. I just wanted to share a non-antibiotic remedy for UTIs that really works for me (and was suggested by my doctor): 1/2 tsp (800 mg) D-mannose, 2-3 times daily, 2 cranberry capsules twice daily, 1 capsule of probiotics (Ultimate Flora Women's Care was recommended as a good one) 2-3 times daily 30 minutes before eating…I've modified it to taking a daily cranberry capsule and take D-Mannose when I feel a UTI coming on. Good luck! Lauren
Holy cow! I'm tired just reading this 🙂 You truly have maximized your time and connections. I'm intrigued to see what you'll have to say in 2030!
I'm not much of a look-back person, just my nature – also my memory doesn't work in a linear fashion, it's more associative (or maybe just not great). I'm almost inclined to write a post on this topic, just to see if I can put together a cohesive narrative. But most of my writing in the last couple of years has been academic/professional.
BTW, if you haven't seen it, there's a recent article in the New Yorker that I found extremely moving: newyorker.com/magazine/2019/12/23/the-art-of-dying?verso=true. It's not a light read but it's presented so capably that there's a real lightness to it.
Happy New Year! Here's to more "be-ing," although the thrill of accomplishment need not be fully relinquished;). And here's to more be-ing in each other's company. xoxo.
Sue B: Thanks for that observant response — I did try to hit a balance, and I worried a bit that I might have ended up with something like one of those horrid Christmas newsletters. . . . The Going Grey, yep! Hair is significant 😉
Maria: So many kind words. Thank you, I'm touched to think that my writing here might mean all this to you. xo
A in London: And kind words here as well, and I'm trying to learn to accept them all rather than deflect and do the self-deprecating thing. I'm so pleased that readers like you appreciate what I can often feel as a lack of focus. I do strive to show a broad (wide, as the Ya-Yas said) representation, the good and the bad, the trivial and the more significant.
Charlene: Isn't it a great community! Happy New Year!
Lauren: Thanks! My UTI's been sorted and I've been symptom-free for almost two years now . . . And I must say that as little as I liked being on antibiotics, I was grateful to have them. I do cranberry capsules and Vitamin D now prophylatically, and perhaps that makes a difference. . .
Kristin: My memory is so far from linear as to be laughable, which made it interesting to write that post. I honestly hadn't thought about doing so until I opened the New Post page, and then the process took over. So much left out and so much I might have emphasized differently on a second draft, but there was satisfaction in getting all that corralled and seeing a condensed version of the decade. Of course, it's all rather amusingly reductive. . . . I'll have a look for that article, thank you!
Lisa, Yes!! (And I'm glad to have someone who understands the push for accomplishment as well as the wisdom of "be-ing" xoxo
Quite a decade for you! I'm impressed by how you keep moving, and not just physically.
Glad you made it to Scotland – as well as England ;). Let's hope to meet next time.