I suspect I’m not alone in finding that Monday morning continues to exert a sense of obligation, sometimes even urgency, a prodding back to busy-ness after the weekend’s changed rhythm.
And I might not be the only one who occasionally thinks wistfully, even nostalgically, of the straightforward, if sometimes exigent, demands of the remunerated workplace. Then, even if the tasks were too many and too difficult and too tiring, they generally organized themselves into priorities. Triage was performed almost automatically, so that I knew that while papers had to be marked and returned within a reasonable period, I prioritized having something solid to say to, or do with, the next day’s classes. Certain meetings had to be attended; some committee tasks must be completed; deadlines for submitting grades or for proposing conference papers must be met; syllabi had to be created, and once created, sent to the printshop on time; if my book orders didn’t get to the bookshop by deadline, my classes would be disrupted for weeks.
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| Keeping this sketch journal is a luxury, yes, but it’s one of so many activities and interests clamouring for my time on a Monday morning. (I’ve blotted names digitally to preserve some privacy.) |
Often, yes, I resented giving up evenings and weekends to work, and I minded that so many of the other important elements of my life were necessarily suspended during term (some of them, having been suspended from September through May, never got back onto the agenda over the summer recovery period, and the suspension stretched into years).
But. On a Monday morning, I rarely had the frustrating luxury of choosing what I should or must do (Ella Luna’s book, The Crossroads of Should and Must explores the distinction between these and connects it to honouring/following a creative passion) from a chaotic plethora of possibilities, scrawled over pages of lists, some starred or circled so as to stand out — Still undone! — among the tasks that have achieved a crossing-out.
These days, we’re aware of the importance of recognizing our privilege, and I do. Being able to choose between Writing a blogpost; or Writing 250+ words on my ongoing draft; or Writing and Sketching a Page in my journal; or Working Out in the Gym (it’s been 6 days!!!); or Figuring Out which sweater to knit for my grandson; or Going to the Yarn Store; or Shifting the Summer to Fall clothes around. . . . clearly a privilege. A luxury, in fact. I know.
But it’s a paralyzing luxury, especially some Monday mornings. Some tasks are obvious ones: I’ll do a load of laundry in a minute, and chop a couple of yams to roast for a lunchtime PowerBowl, make a peanut-butter-soy sauce-honey dressing to go with.
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| I really can’t complain, though, about all the “To-do”s I’m sorting on a Monday morning, when I have this space to work in. So pleased with my converted closet as workspace, although I’ve still to pick up a proper desklamp (thinking of the smaller-size Anglepoise). |
And now I’ll go cross “Write Blogpost” off my list, and be pleased that I’ve achieved enough momentum to roll with for the rest of the morning.
Perhaps you’d care to share your own Monday-morning experiences. No doubt there are more efficient approaches than mine. . . If you’re still working, how do you anticipate or imagine spending your Mondays once retired? Or does retirement seem an enviable but impossible dream? And if you are retired, perhaps the transition took — or is taking — you a while before Mondays settled into a groove, or even became irrelevant. I’m truly curious, and I welcome your comments.
Can not imagine ever fully retiring. And I work full-time now, always have, with a varied schedule as a self-employed person. Many months during the years, I am attentive to work a part of each day of the week, with no full weekends off. The rest of the year, it is 5 days a week of full attention. BUT, I am in the "enviable" position of deciding most mornings exactly when I will start my work day. Not always, not all days,but often.
Despite being self-employed in somewhat this fashion, for many years, I am still firmly wedded to the Monday thru Friday schedule of school days and see Monday as a fresh start. And, Friday as something to look forward to, even if I am working some, or all of the weekend.
You may recall that I invented Martini Mondays in our house (!) and my sweetheart, although a Brit, makes the perfect martini. So Mondays, YES, they are often good days because they lead to a martini after work ( and the cleaning lady comes on Monday).
Your sweet, little work area is ideal. And all yours. What a great desk, so simple- but with important, large drawers. Well done!
A.in London
Love these questions! This is my first Monday back in the workplace in almost a year of leave and I was not looking forward to it. I find Mondays to be very tricky and when I suggested this to Scott last night he guffawed and said: Um, everyone hates Monday. That's why they have songs about it! 🙂
Until very recently I would have been utterly convinced that retirement is the greatest luxury and entirely enviable. Don't get me wrong, I'm still fairly sure it is both of these things. But I must agree that work gives one structure (cultural, social, intellectual). The very fact that you have to get there and be there means that it contextualizes every other priority. It's also a great way to be distracted from things one cannot change and truly can't bear to think about. Even when I was on leave, I was endlessly grateful on a Monday that I didn't have to go to work.
May I suggest treating your fab activities like work? Even when I was off, and I could barely think, I knew that I had to do the things I could prioritize (the creative things) first or the day would disappear and I would feel lost. And I wasn't cooking for much of that time. Just cooking can eat up half a day! Throw in the gym and it's all practical but not so creative.
Of course, we are all different and approach things in unique ways, but I am one of those people who just starts one of the things. Doesn't really matter which – it'll take me to the first place and then the second will present itself. Perhaps this could be a fun experiment?
Every retired person I've spoken with says that the days are just as busy as before retirement, and I can see that would be true. The choices, however, would tend to paralyze me, too. There would be little "tyranny of the urgent", and sometimes, I confess, that's what gets me going. When I think about retirement, which is looming closer and closer, I know that I want to dedicate time to creative pursuits – writing, sewing, gardening, and more time with my children and grandchildren. Then there's travel. How that will all work out remains to be seen.
I read your posts with interest, as you are just ahead of me on the retirement scene.
Newly retired from 40 years of teaching I was worried how I would adjust to having no schedule. I bought a pretty planner similar to one I used in school with pages divided into morning, afternoon, & evening. There’s also a monthly calendar. I tend to fill in my days on Sundays and Wednesdays. At first I structured my days like my school schedule-Monday laundry, Tuesday bathrooms, and so on. It didn’t work. Then I created a legend and categorized my chores: purple is household, red is health appointments, turquoise is social, and so on. (Art teacher!) This is much more successful for me. However, the biggest lesson that I have learned is that I don’t have to do everything I have planned, except appointments, but that I prefer to do at least half of them And I’ve learned to.forgive myself if I’ve accomplished very little in a day and have to draw lots of arrows to the next day. I know it is still a work in progress and there are fewer and fewer accomplish-less days. I envy your little workspace. I am brainstorming on how to create a space like that in our house; one that is not in the ugly basement…Carol in VT
Having just entered my fifth year of retirement , I read your post with interest. Monday’s for me have become a slightly more relaxed day of the seven. Weekends often have the busyness of family and Tuesday through to Friday are often engaged with volunteering of some sort. Monday is often a day where I can take stock before the week ahead.
My retirement life has a pattern of sorts which I need for my sanity. I’m not a list maker, unlike my husband, but i do hold some kind of ‘to does’ list in my head. A good week will have followed a certain pattern including shopping , visiting library vans etc. The freedom to break from my mental list is the most pleasurable aspect about retirement. When working, the rigid structure of life was almost suffocating. Now if the sun is shining and the mood takes me I will abandon everything and head out to walk or do something dynamic with the day, unless of course I’m scheduled for a volunteering stint!
The best thing for me with retirement is still that glorious feeling on Sunday evening when I know I have no planning or marking to do anymore. Although a close second is sitting in bed on a Monday morning reading an excellent book when I know the rest of the world are busy heading off to work in the rain. B x
I still regard Monday as the start of the week and Friday evening as the start of the weekend – literally, the habit of a lifetime. Whether I like this or not, I am not sure but it tends to be the way we structure our world in the west. And I look forward to Thursdays because that is a day when there is nothing pencilled in to do – be a dog-walker, or go to my jewellery class – and so I regard that as a free day. I like to write on that day, all day long if I can. Household tasks are something I enjoy anyway so I just slot them in as I go. What I REALLY LOVE about being retired, is getting up early and spending a quiet couple of hours noodling about, organising my thoughts, general pottering – both internal and external. It sets my rhythm for the day. That, I believe, is the most important thing I have taken from the past few years – set your own rhythm. Today's rhythm will be dominated by rain, which is falling in a steady sheet from a white sky. Fair enough.
Two years on I'm still to get to grips with my retirement routine. Lots of things I must do (household chores etc), many more things I'd love to do (creative stuff, walks and other jaunts), plus rather a long list of those I should do (obligations, real or perceived). Trying to work out how to tick off the first quickly so as to get on to the second. Currently the third gets in the way. (And whilst so engaged on Sunday I fell while moving a stack of church hall chairs and sprained my wrist. Am currently all splinted up and incapacitated for a few days. Plenty of time in which to reflect…)
But yes, the Monday morning/Friday evening feeling still persists. I blame the Friday night TV schedules which are full of wind down programmes. A gentle hour of looking at nice people wandering around other nice people's gardens? Perfect. It's the only time I watch live transmissions now
Oh, and a further thought- about privilege…of course you always say you recognize just how fortunate you are to have a measure of it. To extend some kindness to yourself, possibly, maybe, remember you have made much sacrifice to achieve some ease in your lives. Meaning, selling 2 places and exercising significant creativity about how and where you would downsize and reposition yourselves. You have given much, and given up some, to have a bit of ease of circumstances in retirement. Privileged maybe,but it has come from a fair bit of letting go, too.
A.in London
Am suspended between a full life of work (45+ years in a demanding health care field) and a full life of retirement: now I am down to 2 days a week working in the clinic, with the addition of 1 – 1.5 days a week as a student studying for a second career in landscape design through Guelph University's online program, and the remainder of the time enjoying the great outdoors, walking, taking photos of beautiful neighbourhood gardens and the wildlife that inhabits them, enjoying the company of family and friends. Some cooking and shopping and reading (not related to course work) and political participation as well. I like this pace as I near the 70 year mark, and savour each season, especially spring and fall, knowing there are a limited number of them left to enjoy. This does not diminish my enjoyment, it actually intensifies it.
A in London: Does "work" end up being synonmyous with "paid work" for you? I'm curious if you could imagine yourself being busy and doing something you love but without being paid — or is there something about the remuneration that supports identity? I ask because I think some of my Monday morning anxieties have to do with deciding which activities "count" more, in the absence of that reassuring financial remuneration which makes that so much clearer. . . Much of what I do is still "work" . . .
K: Yes! This is what I'm talking about. I do think about what I do as "work," but there's some conflict I feel about what I see as work (even if/while I enjoy it) and that which is recognized as such by others. Much as some will want to jump in and tell me I should only attend to my own perspective, I don't think I'll ever shush all the other voices in my psyche 😉 But I do try to prioritize the creative stuff. Laundry and toilet-cleaning can either wait or be delegated. . . 😉
Lorrie: You anticipate with some good insight. . . And honestly, if there's any "tyranny of the urgent" to be found in this period, it comes from family, who are not tyrants at all, but whose urgencies trigger me to drop my own. Sometimes I think that's appropriate; sometimes it's an excuse. Working on it still. . .
Carol: Sounds as if you're already creating some useful patterns and nurturing some healthy approaches. I tend to keep my agenda and lists on a sort of "rolling" basis, and it mostly works, but I may have to think about making a more specific schedule for Monday morning. Even if it's just scrawling across all the Monday mornings, "Ease into the week by puttering at whatever."
As for my workspace, we tried– and furnished–two other areas before I realized the closet was the perfect solution. You'll find yours, but it might take time as you sort out your new patterns.
Barbara/Coastal: Many similarities before your approach to scheduling and mine, so the different approach you take to Monday morning makes so much sense to me that I think I'll adopt it. Our weekends are often so busy as well, and then I'm pressuring myself to figure out the "right" thing to do (i.e. the most productive) of a Monday. . . . when really, it would probably be just as productive in the long run just to lie fallow for a few hours, let the priorities emerge. . .
Annie Green: Ah, I love my early mornings as well (although not so much if I've been awake on the couch from 2 until 5 or some such). Don't know if you're like me, but it would entirely spoil mine if my guy woke early as well. I love that time to myself. . .
Ceri: Yes, absolutely, to "the third gets in the way." Working on that, still. And I'm so sorry about your sprained wrist — hope it heals quickly and is not too constraining meanwhile. Funny, I hadn't thought about how Fridays still hold the "working life" pattern, but it's so true, and I quite enjoy the excuse to be a couch potato in front of Netflix or the like. . .
A: Thanks! It's true that I've worked to have the freedoms I have now. No question there was privilege involved in getting that work, though, and I don't mind acknowledging it.
Sensitive: You sound very happily, productively busy. Isn't it great?!
I am not yet retired – likely another 3 or (oh dear) 4 years. My husband will be retired or at least semi-retired before me. I wonder how that will change things in our lives – him retiring before me. I am a list maker and also need some sort of frame to my days. I have a number of interests – quilting, gardening, knitting, reading, piano playing, baking. I intend to spend more time at those pursuits. I imagine structuring my day with exercise, one or more of the named interests, always some time reading, ticking off something from an ongoing to do list (home projects, major cleaning projects, etc), routine cleaning/laundry chores, possibly a volunteer pursuit (what that would be remains to be seen, and dates for lunch/chats with friends. I will also visit family more often. These are my thoughts as I wonder how it will really play out.
I notice retirement falls into a couple categories: People choosing full retirement pursuing interests of their choosing, people working paid part time jobs, and people leaving retirement and returning to full time paid jobs. Finding balance is key. Susan
I've just "unretired" for 6 weeks. In working full-time, I realize how privileged we are to be healthy and to be able to participate in so many activities. We are probably the first generation of women to enjoy this lifestyle. My parents travelled a lot in retirement but my mum is not an independent woman. Situations can shape our retirement. Since I don't have grandchildren or an active partner, accepting a job offer seemed like a positive choice. I do wonder though, at almost 68, why I am so tired!
To answer your question…Work that I am paid for, which I hope to do until I die, as I do now, would be my goal. Yes,as someone who began working at 15, it is a part of my idenity to earn my own living and, to myself, something that gives me a sense of value which is one factor that contributes to my self-esteem. Status, how much I make, what I am doing for work, has never influenced me at all, but what I must have is the feeling that whatever I do for work has meaning to me.
Keep in mind my role model is a mother who,at 80, runs her business, daily, some seasons for 7 days a week, even though, after decades of the physical aspect of the work is now given over to her younger workers to accomplish. I come from that. It is ingrained. A long family tradition of working while very signifigant volunteering in our community til the end.
Importantly, what my siblings and I, thankfully, do not share with our elders, is a (in our unexpressed, to them, view) very nasty strain of workaholism which saw and sees our elders, failing to know how to relax or realizing the value of development of self outside the work realm. It is probably generational that my siblings and I embrace heartedly the times we grew up in which offered much more choice and the attractions of time for self,development of self and exploration through travel But, being a hard worker, a renumerated worker, for as long as possible is encoded in us.
Yes, I can imagine doing things which I do not get money for and 1. feeling as if I am working, 2. feel it has value and 3. deserves priority in my life. My role models in my family would agree I think, that volunteering in our community is meaningful work, although no money changes hands. I certainly have always seen it that way.
If I paint a room in our home and save us many pounds or dollars, you better believe I see that as work,too. I get satisfaction from that, no doubt, but it is most definitely work.
Recently, I think I mentioned here, how Paul obviously puts value and sees your deep exploration and expression of your creativity as your work. And now you have your own work space to help to make that so. He seems the kind of person who will take joy from watching you use it to do your work. I would feel I was working if I were doing what you are exploring and creating and think that it deserved priority in my schedule and my home where I do that work.
My, you asked a question and I had a lot to say! Probably because just yesterday morning my sister and I discussed this family trait in great detail, realizing our chances of getting our mother, not to stop working, but to slow down just a tiny bit…. Our chances of success? 3% !!
A. in London
Been retired for going on 9 years, felt a Sunday-evening tension for maybe 4 years. But what I now have are work-anxiety dreams in which, for example, I have forgotten important materials for a meeting, and wake in a panic. t I never had these semi-nightmares while working. It's as if I repressed all the anxiety and it's coming out now.
There is such a range of attitudes toward retirement, and these relate to what work means to each of us. Some I know say they will never retire: work is how they express their gifts. Others want or need the money. But lately I have noticed a small third category, persons for whom work forms their identity. They are are restive in retirement (because they never developed any other dimensions of life) and sometimes go back to work even though they don't especially like it.
To A. in London's point: When "work" is used in the context of retirement, "work" means pay for labour, whether self-employed or employed by an enterprise. The broader meaning is the application of effort, as in, "That Ottolenghi recipe was a lot of work, but worth it!" So when applying the broader definition, we work every single day.
Jeannine: I'll be curious to hear from you as you move through these years toward your retirement and then into it. I found some interesting adjustments were made with having my husband retire first — and living at home full-time after having worked in a different city during the week for several years. . . I think it was good that we made those adjustments while I was still working . . . and then were ready for a whole other process of recalibration. The only constant is change, as they say 😉
Susan: Yes. As balance so often is. . .
Mme: I've been so interested in your return to work — in many ways, it seems the best of both worlds, but I can see that expectations have to be carefully managed as we do tire more easily these years. . .
A, in London: Thank you for the comprehensive answer. I have also worked (for pay) from early adolescence and have always equated having my own earned money with independence and identity. What this has often meant in my life, however, is stress and fatigue and an ability to accept my accomplishments. I'm determined to switch the formula as much as I can, in retirement, recognizing that I've already achieved financial independence. To both you and
Duchesse (because her comment responds partly to yours and also elicits this, from me. . . ): after a yoga class four years ago, talking about my impending retirement, I was expressing some concern about where/whether I would locate my identity. My favourite yoga instructor, overhearing the conversation, interrupted gently, "You are more than your job, Frances. You are more than your job." And I guess this is still what I'm trying to work out, Monday mornings . . . Getting there. . . (and yes, we all work every single day. I used to wear a button occasionally, during those years that pitted Stay-at-Home Moms against Superwomen (those media myths!) "Every Mother is a Working Mother"
I am late again, because your post and all these wonderful and varied comments kept me thinking. And while I was musing over whether I could contribute anything, I was feeling pretty bad: nervous and irritated and uncomfortable. It took me some time to find out that this was because I had put myself in a situation where my decisions about how I am spending (or going to spend) my time depended on circumstances and people beyond my control. Will I teach this winter? Will certain workmen show up, and when? Will this or that meeting be postponed again? Today I finally took back the reins and booked a short trip to visit a friend. It worked immediately. Apparently, what matters most to me is neither the remuneration nor the "value" of what I do, it is the freedom to decide.
Interesting discussion! Mondays are still the start of the week for me, whether or not I do anything for my business. If I don't, I do feel guilty! The week/weekend division is accentuated by the fact that my husband works in Edinburgh during the week and commutes up here at weekends. I never enjoyed my main career, and didn't feel remotely defined by it – it was blessed relief to leave it. But I do feel rather defined in my own mind by working per se, so want to keep going with something for the next few years. Because I'm under less pressure now I do feel dissatisfied with what I get through during the day. Working on making 'doing nothing' an achievement!
Eleonore: I always love hearing that a reader has found enough here–either in my post or in the response to it–that they want to go away and think a bit before coming back to add to the conversation. And I was intrigued to follow your thought process and see you locate the source of your discomfort. So glad you figured it out and "took back the reins" — I think that this may become increasingly important to many of us as we age, to retain that "freedom to decide." Thanks for your careful thought.
Linda B: Yours really is more career change than retirement, isn't it? And such a big lifestyle change thrown in. Interesting distinction you make about being defined by the particulars of a career and/or being defined by working "per se." I relate to this, and I think I'm resisting it for a few reasons myself (won't be looking for a job at the local coffee shop anytime soon, but. . . ) Your penultimate sentence really hits me, and I think I'll come back to it for a think or two. Thank you!