So. . . I promised to tell you about two more belated-birthday surprises I enjoyed last week.
The first was a two-part gift, something I’ve hankered after for years, decades even, but somehow could never justifying buying for myself. Fellow knitters might remember that I have occasionally mentioned winding skeins of yarn into balls manually, the way my mother and grandmother did before me. It’s not an overly onerous task, but over the years I’ve spent hours at it, and whenever my yarn store has offered to wind a skein for me on their yarn-swift and ball-winder, I’ve savoured the little luxury. And I’ve surely mentioned it at home. Mentioned it in a manner that some might recognize as a hint. But while I’ve received many generous and thoughtful gifts from family members, not one has ever thought to get me a yarn swift or a ball-winder. Never mind both at once.
Well, readers, someone did, finally. That was the surprise gift my daughter-in-law handed me to open when she, Son, and two Littles arrived Saturday before last. I’m still not sure what I’m happier about: owning these two very useful tools, or the thoughtfulness involved in listening, remembering, researching, and purchasing. . . . (I already knew how happy I am that my Son chose my DIL so wisely — she’s a gem!)
If you’re curious about what a yarn swift and ball-winder might look like and do, have a peek at this little video on my Instagram feed. . . . Nifty, isn’t it?!
And if you don’t feel like heading over to see the video, here’s a quick peek at what that working combo achieves — that mohair-silk “cake” is already being knit into a cardigan, and thanks to the swift (which you can see part of behind the yarn) and winder, I’ve gained an hour’s knitting time.
To tell you about the second surprise, I’m going to have to expose myself a bit. . . but perhaps there will be something you recognize about this little anecdote. To save myself some writing time, I’m going to quote myself, from an email I sent a good friend last week. . .
Setting the context, I told her how busy we’d been with family stuff, all good, but busy. We’d had an impromptu hour-and-a-half visit by our daughter, her Six and Four, on Friday afternoon before hosting a (previously scheduled) visit with a friend on our terrace for a few hours. Then Saturday, we picked up our favourite Chinese take-out for lunch when our son’s family arrived. And that evening, several hours at a Flamenco version of Beauty and the Beast in which two of our granddaughters danced. As I say, all good, but busy. . . .
And here I’ll just quote from my email, with some clarifications/additions in italics. . . .
“So I was pleased that we had a quiet Sunday, and a bit puzzled that Paul had arranged a Monday drop-in to check out the AirBnB our Son and DIL had rented. And maybe a teeny bit grumpy because I was finally trying to get a bit of my own stuff done After the two months’ travel AND I needed to fit in a quick workout in the gym to get myself back to where I was before the trip. In fact, I might have snapped at him that I just needed to finish a few more lines. . . And then as we walked up Main Street, I told him that I was sorry but that it turned out I was a bit angry. I knew it wasn’t really fair and I know that I love family and want to see them and that Son and DIL are only here for a week and we want as much time as possible with the kids. But I did wonder why we had to go there Monday morning when we’d spent so much time on Saturday and were having the kids overnight on Wednesday and Thursday. . . .Paul was really good about it. Let me rant, reminded me how generous I am with family and that it was okay for me to resent it and he knew I still really loved them and wanted the time with them but was just torn, etc. etc., And bit by bit I let it go, and it was all good, and then we got into the house and Granddaughter, Four was showing me ‘round it (a gorgeous old character home, beautifully remodelled, in a lovely neighbourhood nearby). . . and then she said, “Okay, Nana, you’d better get your shoes on because you’re going out for tea with Mama and Papa and Granddad’s going to watch a movie with me and baby-sit Little Brother, One too. . . .
And was I embarrassed to know that the whole time I’d been grumping away, Paul knew there was this secret surprise waiting — Son had arranged to take me for tea to the Van Dusen Gardens. So sweet. . . .
So there you are, readers. Does that Nana/Mom even deserve such generous treatment? Please say yes. And thank goodness my family sometimes thinks so. Even better, maybe you’ll tell me that every once in a while you feel conflicted as well. Happy to have time with your family — complaining when you don’t see them often enough — and then frustrated that you don’t get enough time to do your own thing. My tone’s a bit flip in telling this little tale, but I readily admit I’m struggling to get the balance right these days. Mostly succeeding, I think, but not always without a growl or grumble. . .
You are not the only one. We all feel grumpy when we need to slow down just a little. We have put in our time working and running after everyone else. It is okay and normal. I appreciate your honesty and willingness to share. And maybe some will think it is unnecessary but, for me personally, it all would have worked better if not a surprise. Take care.
Thanks for understanding, Roberta! Apparently, my DIL pushed for the tea not to be a surprise, and she asked me afterward if I’d have preferred that. In fact, I have to say that despite my initial grumpiness (even because of it?) I was completely delighted to be surprised that way—I’m notoriously tough to surprise and this year my family pulled off three! (Helps that they waited a month past my actual birthday 🙄
I am SO thrilled that you have the swift and ball winder! You more than deserved that combo 50 years ago 🙂 What a wonderful DIL to be so thoughtful in the perfect way. You're gonna be winding everything. PS: Don't wind too soon before you're interested in using the yarn because, if your set up winds tight (and some yarns with some ball winders and swifts can have this outcome) you don't want to stretch your yarn and leave it that way for more than a few weeks or months. Can't wait to see what you do with that mohair. And do post your new KD sweater garment soon!
Good to know about the pre-winding. Since our downsizing, I try not to buy beyond immediate projects, although not too surprisingly, I have nonetheless accrued a stash in our three years here… The KD just have a few more ends to weave in (all those stripes!!) and then a good blocking. Coming soon!
Yes, of course you deserve it – your son certainly thinks so, as do his relatives. I am a bit envious. As for feeling conflicted, I try to look at that perennial emotion as something that reminds me to let go and enjoy what at first I might consider something to be endured. It usually works. And it's nice not to feel alone . . .
Thanks, Marsha! Yes, it’s a good reminder (although somehow balancing it without completely surrendering my own goals is also important). Lovely to feel some company, yes…
Of course you deserve all the presents and surprises you receive from your family! I hope you had a lovely afternoon with your son and DIL, having delicious tea and cake in a wonderful setting. On the other hand, I very much understand your original reaction, after having made plans for a quiet day by yourself. That is the risk which may accompany surprises: sometimes they do not hit the right note or the suitable moment. Would it have taken away anything from that sweet present if you had been told in advance and had had time to prepare and even look forward to it?
He definitely took a risk, my son, and I think it was worthwhile, this time at least—the delight of the surprise overcame my irritation completely—and the evident care he took to ensure that surprise. Another time, the advance notice might be appreciated.
The conflicts of a loving family! So hard when in our own head we have a daily schedule outlined, if not already penned on paper, and then a conflict (good or bad) comes up and suddenly your time is not your own…even if it time with family you love–sometimes it just sets off an unaccountable frustration. You are not alone in the feeling. I could completely hear myself in your "ranting" to Paul (fortunate for him, he doesn't have to listen to mine). I'm glad the conflict (a special tea party) turned out to be something so nice, but I can appreciate that the initially unknown situation took a hit on you (both). What can I say–we're human.
As for the ball and winder–a marvelous gift from a very thoughtful DIL. I've had a set for about 12 years–amazing time savers. I second Kristin's recommendations about not winding the balls too early.
Have a good weekend.
Thanks, Mary! I seem to prove my humanity all too regularly 😉
How wonderful and thoughtful of your beautiful DIL and family (does she have a sister who is single btw. ;-)?)
For the family conflict question: yes,almost always-you are not alone. Finding the balance is,as always,very difficult
Dottoressa
Thank you for sharing your experience and feelings so honestly. My first thought was, "ah yes – one of the curses of being an introvert in an extroverted world. I recognize it so well". Possibly this doesn't apply in the situation you found yourself in, but perhaps that was part of it(?). It certainly applies to me and I could see myself in how you were feeling and in your rant to Paul. I do try to "roll" with things and I'm much better than when I was young, but better is relative. Of course you deserved all the love and surprises that came your way! And how fortunate you were to receive them.
The wool-winding thingy is beyond my comprehension as a non-knitter!
Oh yes, the grumps are a familiar scenario here, but the main thing in a long marriage is not to let the sun go down on them. It's important to be able to laugh at yourself afterwards and "Fail again. Fail better". The only time my husband tried to pull off a surprise gathering he did indeed fail – our children joining him in Bordeaux for my birthday weekend in the middle of my 2 week solo language school stay there. He didn't make it to within 2 months of the event without letting the secret out! Other than that we don't really have a surprise culture. Our mutual worst nightmare is a surprise big bash birthday party.
Your son and daughter-in-law sound like truly lovely people. Yes, the best gifts are the ones where someone really listens to what we want. Or those that are given from the heart, a part of the giver (for example, home-made presents).
It sounds like the presents were late because they waited until they could have time with you. Which is another thoughtful aspect.
Happy birthday again!
I am thrilled that you have a swift and ball winder, and echo the advice not to pre-wind, as some skeins/winders do stretch. There is some practice involved in learning to manage speed/tension for different fibers with each winder….. like everything in life it seems. Anyway I am jealous as I wish my own swift and winder were not boxed up in my garage waiting for that studio to be ready. I am somehow delaying wrapping some lace weight around chairs and winding it up the old-fashioned way.
The surprise sounds marvelous, and yes, we are all sometimes grumpy when we have been overextended or are struggling to find the right balance, but that does not make the delights less delightful, or us more undeserving.
Dottoressa: Does "I" know you're matchmaking? 😉
Jeannine: Yep. The Introverts Club! 😉 So lucky I have a partner who gets it (now, might have taken some educating through the years!)
Linda B: In fact, while I do generally try to adhere to that "don't let the sun go down on anger" advice, I do find sometimes that fatigue exacerbates, so sometimes sleeping on it actually works. Risky, though, and perhaps not to be tried until a couple has at least 30 years under their belt. . . #kiddingnotkidding — and surprise or not, that must have been quite a lovely interruption of your French immersion.
Taste of France: They really are lovely — I'm very lucky in family.
Mardel: You will be so relieved and happy to begin to really nest in your newly renovated home and truly settle after quite a number of unsettled years.
More than deserving of this generous treatment. But yes the conflict is real.
Reading this made me think back to the simmering days of my career when I was pretty much always looking for the elusive ' balance '. Time with, time alone.
Maybe we never get it right and really there's no such thing as balance. Your post also took me back to my week last week. Volunteering to have grandkids sleepover ( 8 and 10 ) and delivering the 14 t( who resides locally) to 3 separate venues in one given day while the parents were working. In fairness, it was torrential rain and he had a computer and bass guitar that was needed at all 3 separate commitments school related and I was happy to be asked.
As for the ball winder? This will even up your desire to knit more. The friends that know I own one pop by not infrequently for a skein wind. Such a wonderful gift from your DIL!
You are a much loved and appreciated Nana and Mom and have invested a lot to garner the honor.
Sandy: It's probably good to remember that balance (a bike/unicycle/teeter-totter) requires constant micro-adjustments and maintenance of tension. It looks much easier than it really is. . . I hope the day that balances your crazy chauffeuring last week comes along soon.
And thank you for the kind words 😘