This Mother’s Day, I’m watching my granddaughter’s excitement about the gift she’s hidden away for her mother — she bought it with her Papa yesterday on the way home from swimming lessons, and she managed to keep the secret (she made us come upstairs, out of the way, to see it, and then she swore us to secrecy and kept checking in that we weren’t going to spoil the surprise).
Yesterday, on an outing to a medieval hilltop village, I watched her Mama comfort her after she’d been crying over some upset or other, quite likely her embarrassment after being chided for taking that one step too far she can seldom resist. . .
I was happy to catch this series of snaps in which you can see her turn into her Mama for comfort and gradually restore equilibrium enough to move back towards the world. . .
Certainly, I didn’t need my kids to have their own children for me to be happy for and with them, to be proud of them, to love them. But I’m so pleased that, having had children, they are all such good parents.
Alongside the happiness, though, I’m thinking of my mom today and missing her, as are many of you missing your mothers.
And I’m thinking of all those mothers who, like my sister-in-law, will be missing children who died too early.
All those women who never got to be the mothers they’d never hoped to be. And those who don’t have their own children, but help look after ours. Shout out to my sister Rachel, an unparalleled Aunt, who deserves her own day!
And what about those women who aren’t comfortable around babies or children but save their nurturing for adults in need . . .
In short, I’m very happy to be a mother and a grandmother, but I’ll be happiest if this one grows up thinking that motherhood needn’t be the defining feature of her identity. . .
Over-thinking again? That’s entirely possible. But hey, it’s my blog, I’ll over-think if I want to! 😉
Wishing you happiness on Mother’s Day, however you relate to this day. . .
From Italy, with love. . .
xo,
f
Good thoughts. I applaud you for those. Have a good mothersday.
Hope yours was a good Mother's Day as well, givi. ..
Thank you and Happy Mother's Day to you too. Your posts are so kind and thoughtful and you look fabulous in navy and white! So very polished for someone travelling with carry on – I'm impressed 🙂 Maria
Thanks, Maria! This linen dress is really earning its keep.
Oh, that yummy stage when they still fit on your lap, and a hug and a cuddle is all it takes to set the world right.
There's a beautiful essay about being a mother in the NYT today.
I second Maria that you look very polished. BTW, there's a pajama suit in a store window here. Very similar to yours. Displayed with the top open and a red T-shirt under.
I know. . . it seems so very long ago to me, and there are some mixed feelings when I see it's rolled 'round again.
I'll check out that essay. . . and I really like the idea of changing up the look of my "suit" by adding a coloured T underneath — thanks!
Yes similar thoughts to my own. Curious how Mother’s Day varies according to place. Never forget a holiday in May in France when my children were tiny. The lady who owned our holiday cottage arrived on Mother’s Day with a large bunch of flowers for me. Such a kind thought. A very poignant day wherever we are. B x
That's a sweet anecdote — such thoughtful generosity.
I think you can tell that most of us who read your blog understand (and join in) over-thinking and appreciate your honesty in sharing your bouts with it. And sometimes it does feel like a very long wrestling match, eh?
Happy Mother's Day, Frances.
A long wrestling match — yep, that works! 😉
Happy Mother's Day, Frances. Thanks for the lovely inclusive wishes. xxxooo
all the nurturing you did as a teacher, just as one example . . .
Happy Mother's Day! Certainly becoming a mother is a choice and should not be an expectation. It's okay to overthink. Monsieur often chastises me for thinking to much but I want to consider different points of view and to be aware that we all live different realities. Little is very pretty in pink. I find it interesting to watch small children because their emotions change so quickly. I'm off to VAG with my daughter today. Enjoy your day!
From your IG, it looks as if you must have had a good day with your daughter– Mmmm, Thierry!
Happy Mother's Day to everyone and thanks for the inclusiveness, Frances. My mother's care home celebrates every woman on Mother's Day, regardless of whether or not they have had children. I am going there for a lunch of Eggs Benedict and very much looking forward to it. Your grandchild is very dear and her gelato looks good as well. Brenda
What a good approach for your mother's care home to take — hope the lunch was good (with Eggs Benedict on the menu, I expect it was!)
And btw, that gelato started its life as mine 😉
Happy Mother's day to you too, Frances. No babies of my own, but it does indeed take a village, and we all do our part, I'm sure.
Ann in Missouri
Your Social Media presence suggests a very nurturing personality, Ann. I'm pretty sure you do your part 😉
Happy Mother's Day,lot of joy and a beautiful Sunday evening
Dottoressa
xo to you, my friend!
Lovely post! I one of those peeps who is not "into" mother's day. I feel we'd need a week to begin to celebrate mothers for the things they do each day. 🙂 Hell, it's not possible! And it does feel wrong that those who nurture in myriad contexts, outside of the motherhood box, do not get celebrated – because maternal nurturing comes in so many forms. This day can be so fraught for so many reasons – I have been thinking of your brother and SIL and your niece and great niece. Wishing them peace though I know it's premature. BTW, your gdaughter and daughter are lovely and sweet – as are you! Eat some gelato for me 🙂
As much as I chose to be, and am very happy to be, a mother of four, I'm really leery of the construction of motherhood that Mother's Day has traditionally insisted on. I'm pleased to see that changing, although we have a ways to go.
Thanks for thinking of my family —
As for eating the gelato, well, okay, but you're kind of overloading me with the requests. I mean, drink the wine, eat the gelato. . . . It's beginning to feel a bit onerous 😉
Sounds like you had a wonderful day and your granddaughter is adorable!
Missing our moms on a day when we would normally celebrate them is natural…now I rejoice in our DIL being a mom.
Compelled to pop in and say how much I enjoyed this post. Thoughtful commentary as always. Proud mother and grandmother I too almost wish there wasn't a DAY that we honor ( similar to how I feel about Valentine's Day ). And YET, I am appreciating more and more the older I get at the whole process of pausing to acknowledge the maternal experience of life. Yesterday I too thought of my mom, mother in law and my 2 grandmothers. For that bitter sweet walk down memory lane at this time of transition for me, it was a very heartfelt day.
Yes, the maternal potential in so many of us. . . It's good to appreciate and acknowledge and be grateful when that potential is expressed in nurturing ways. We can grab the day and make it ours, honouring a wider spectrum, perhaps, than it was first set up for, without forgetting those more traditional mothers (and I bet there was some tradition-challenging among your female forebears 😉