Although I’m beginning my fourth year of retirement this month (!), I still find that the rhythm of my life is influenced by the notion of Monday as the beginning of a “work” week — I’m not being paid for my work anymore, and even when I was, that work was far from confined to any Monday to Friday schedule (nor did it stay within anything like 9-to-5 hours). Marking and reading and researching and planning classes sprawled over my weekends and evenings and into my vacation time, absolutely. But Monday-to-Friday was when I had to show up and perform, to stand in front of a room and lecture or facilitate a discussion, to sit in my office and meet with students, to cross campus for committee meetings. . .
I was fortunate enough that my work flowed from an interest I would have pursued anyway — literature and stories, the way texts have meaning in a culture and also the way they give meaning to that culture, the relationships between construction (narration) and representation. So much of my work overlapped considerably with what I might consider play. Just as some of my play felt like work sometimes — running, for instance, or my Pilates classes on days when I really didn’t want to exercise; knitting, when I’d made a mistake on a pattern and had to rip back and redo; scrambling up a rocky slope, cranky and sweating, and terrified of falling, behind my indefatigable husband.
Still and all, as I said, I continue to feel, of a Monday morning, that I’m starting a new work week, and with that, I regularly have an impulse to sort out a list of what I’d like to accomplish, or what I’m looking forward to working on/playing at. Sometimes I make the list in order to ensure that I “pay myself first” — that I prioritise something creative, perhaps, or simply give myself a replenishing three or four hours simply to read. Sometimes, the list serves to help me get some monkey or other off my back, to push me to make the phone call or the online registration or whatever’s needed to complete some niggling administrative task so that I can stop waking up at 2 a.m. fussing about it.
It occurs to me today that this Monday morning list-making has a different weight in retirement — it’s both less and more urgent than it was when I was working for a salary. Less urgent, of course, because if I let this week be shaped by daily or hourly whim rather than be guided by a list (and let’s be honest, I’ve done that regularly), nothing grinds to a halt). But more urgent, also, in that my weekly to-do list indicates rather clearly what’s guiding me forward on some much bigger calendars.
Understand, first of all, that this to-do list sometimes exists only in my head, that I often fail to write it down. Also understand that it’s ongoing and it includes many items that I know won’t get downdone this week — or necessarily in any given week. What’s more likely to happen is that I add items, when I get ’round to sitting down with my notebook, to an ongoing list which mixes Errands that must be done Soon! (or Pronto!) — and I try to write those down because that action tends to harness the free-floating anxiety and make it manageable — alongside Goals and Hopes and Commitments and Wouldn’t-It-Be Funs. . .
Sometimes I’ll be crossing off items three pages back in my little purple-covered notebook (3.5×5-ish) and adding to the list at the same time, with six or seven items persistently undone in between. (As a safeguard against losing sight of these, I circle the remaining item on a page if it’s all that’s holding me back from drawing a big X across a page that’s been completely worked through). At some point, I’ll let some of them go, drawing dark ink through them with a gesture that’s as much absolution as regret. Eventually, though, I do get to most of them.
Why so much chat about my list-making this Monday morning? Perhaps because I have three days with the place to myself (Pater off following lists of his own), and I’m wanting to spend them wisely. Partly because it’s two weeks now since I finished the first (perhaps only) draft of a long manuscript I worked on for over a year, and it’s time to wonder, “What’s Next”? Partly because my Morning Pages the last two days have returned me to the question of what I want to do here, on the blog. A question that moves me into that space of discernment: what is work, for me, and what is play? What do I really want to do with the time I have? How much obligation is good for me? How much freedom? How much discipline? What’s the balance between what I Should do and what I Must do, and how do I recognize the difference? (my daughter gave me Ella Luna’s The Crossroads of Should and Must for Christmas year before last, and I recommend it as an engaging and provocative and creative way of “finding our passion.”
Time to wrap this post up, though, so that I can get on with my list.
Some of the items, in case you’re curious:
– Write 3 blog posts for the week; Try to complete 1 for reading blog as well
– Get back to the Gym!!! (Exclamation marks because I haven’t been to the gym since that ‘flu hit 3 weeks ago)
– Knitting — sweater for N
– Journal sketches — experiment with fountain pen and dry-brush. . . Also practise using the flexible nib
– Coffee Break Italian
– Italian, French drill with Duolingo
– Book eye and dental appointments
– Downtown to look for replacement black cardi for P
– Something in the mail for G and for S
– Urban sketching — get organised and get out there!
– Find top to wear under new Fair Isle sweater
– Mend socks
– Pick up shoes from cobbler, drop off second pair for new Topys
– Get some photos printed (This one has been carried forward so often, it really needs to get to the top of the list or to be abandoned honestly. . .
– Book piano tuning
– Get notebook to keep notes for new writing project.
Okay, clearly that’s not going to get done this week, probably not even this month, but I can obviously pick out several items to do today, and there are a few more that will be manageable within the week. I need to work them around the commitments in my day-planner, of course, but so far only this afternoon and Thursday morning are blocked out. Mondays an ideal time to block out time for the errands on my list, and that’s what I’m going to do next. I’m thinking I should book those appointments and then sit down with my knitting and listen to my Italian podcast.
Also thinking that if I pack up my sketching gear, I could stop along the way to buy that new notebook. . .
And I’ve already written one of my three posts for this week. . . Now maybe you’ll comment on this one, tell me, if you’re already retired, whether Monday’s still got that beginning-of-the-week feeling for you. Retired or not, do your lists tend to shape up on a daily, weekly, or longer-term time-frame? Does your list look anything like mine (with different activities and tasks, but a similar balance of work and play)? How much “carry-forward” do you allow yourself? How much does your weekly list indicate your big-picture goals?
I just need to say that I cannot believe it's been that long since you retired! It seems like yesterday?! And I love how you have juxtaposed the concepts of work that feels like play and play that feels like work! As you can imagine, based on a massive-scale change in the Ontario government, my job (formerly insane) has become so insane that I barely know how to get through it these days. All of the items on your list, while potentially time consuming, seem like lots of fun (or destined to produced fun outcomes). To answer some of your questions: I like lists. Sometimes I make them, sometimes I just think about them in my mind. My lists look NOTHING like yours! 🙂 Except for knitting and shopping. But I don't write those things down because they're either a given or a kind of luxury. My lists focus on the non-negotiable – mainly work related things or child responsibilities.
I know! I can't believe it either — mind you, it's been a busy three years, given that we made a big move/lifestyle change two years ago.
Your job change must hurt! My husband was a federal senior bureaucrat when that big change happened when the Liberals fell apart and the new gov't arrived with very different values. Speeded his retirement . . . Good luck!
I would rarely have written this kind of stuff down when I was working for pay, but now I find it important to have my personal goals written, even if they're leisure-related. So easy for them to get pushed aside in favour of family needs, still. . .
Oh, it is really hurting. And I say – list-write away! It's fun to see one's productivity in terms of x's next to a necessary task. And you are so blessed with family (the flip side of which can veer into obligation-territory), that it's important to carve out your personal space.
Hi, I have just discovered your blog and it resonated with me. I have been retired for about 18 months and definitely think of Monday as the beginning of the week. I didn't enjoy my last year of work even though I loved my job but not so much the people. I still have mild panicky feelings on a Sunday night thinking that I have to go to work on Monday!
I too am a list maker but it seems to be in my head. My daughter has been helping me create rituals so that I don't feel my days are wasting away. Looking forward to reading more of your posts.
Hi Pieta, I'm glad you found the blog and thanks for commenting. I think you'll find this community builds some great conversations.
I'd imagine you'll be getting the hang of retirement now, at 18 months, but it takes a while. I'm still working it out at three years. . .
I still plan my week on Sunday, just like I used to when I was teaching. Well… similar to what I did when I was teaching. Weekends are for housework and laundry, and cycling or walking with Stu, just like when I was working. Except for no marking or prepping. But for the rest of the week, I mostly "chunk" my time, by deciding which day I'll walk with my friends. What other day Stu and I might do something together. Which day I'll shop, return library books, run errands, almost always on the same day. And I've begun to schedule two days to stay home and blog… guilt free… which is a big step for me (the guilt free part, that is.) I like a schedule because it helps me feel as if I'm giving a sense of order to my life. Like Pieta, when I first retired I used to get that Sunday night feeling. Now I quell it by making my "I want to do this" list for the week. I'm finding though that somehow I'm not making time for starting new projects. I'd like to do more knitting. And I've completely abandoned my drawing. So one of those will have to make it back onto the plate this winter. I'm determined.
Yes, I "chunk" too! 😉
I like that title: "I want to do this" list, much more appealing than "to do" . . .
I'd love to see you pick up your drawing again — so much skill you already had in high school!
Monsieur shakes his head when I talk about "the shape of the day" basically an elementary school practise so the children understand what has to be done. I tend to have an overview of the week as well but that needs fine tuning. Balance between social, family interactions, interests, health and domestic chores with time for reflective/spiritual practises. Do you think that there should be a curriculum for retirement?
Yes:).
I guess I'm like that as well, and my husband likes to think he's more flexible. I'm not sure that's true, actually, just that he's more deeply confident he'll do mostly what he wants when the time comes. (and he's a very generous and accommodating guy, but the culture has trained the two of us well 😉
What a fascinating question! Full disclosure: I am not close to retirement but right now, I am not in favour of a curriculum. My goal is to be totally impulsive during retirement 🙂
I too have a list of things that need to get done but am practising being flexible about the when. I normally put something that has to be done into each day – my dog-walking duties, my jewellery class – and then float everything else around that. Come to learn that I have an ideal self who makes plans and always sticks to them and a real self who tinkers with the reality but still gets it done in the end. An inner martinet. I'm glad she's there but often shut the door in her face. I suppose I just want to make the best of my time but not necessarily the most of it. The weekend is now the weekend and can be left open.
It occurs to me that a big difference I'm noticing here is that I have grandchildren, and I'm inclined to be all TOO flexible. It's important to me to get that list and do some firm scheduling as well as the floating stuff because otherwise the stuff I really want to do for myself either floats right over the horizon or sinks.
So I need an inner martinet to safeguard some time for my creative stuff or my naps or whatever I need to prioritise. . . . (and btw, I think we need a post on your jewellery some time soon — I'd imagine you're getting up to some intriguing pieces)
I can only go once a week for two hours but it is such great fun and everyone is kind and interesting, plus you get to learn fascinating skills. So progress is slow…but I do hope to show off a nearly-finished piece soon. Planning a pair of earrings for a friend next. She should get them before retirement, with luck and a following wind.
I will watch for you to post a piece—looking forward to seeing it.
There are many things in your post and in the comments that resonate with me. The weekend is more of a weekend now, because I do not have to prepare classes. But every sunday night I still remind myself (with a sigh of relief) that I will not have to get up early the next morning. The largest change that retirement has brought for me is the way that my mornings have changed.
A few months into retirement I tried to stop making lists, because I felt that I was still running around trying to achieve something instead of learning to enjoy what I was doing in any given moment. It helped, in a way, but did not work out in the long run. (Waking up in the middle of the night wondering if I had forgotten something important was one of the problems.) So I am back to lists, but am seriously trying to cut them down to daily chunks which can realistically be chewed. I am still working at how to make "project time", that is, a few days in a row for some particular activity.
Congratulations on your first draft! What may your new writing project be about?
A few weeks ago I started writing down some childhood memories, perhaps in response to my son, niece and nephews demanding fotos and stories "about old times" when we got together last Christmas. In part it is to please them and to tell what I remember while I can, but I think there is also something else which has to do with this particular moment in life. A wish to look back in order to look forward.
For me, at least, it took more than a year to get a feeling for retirement. As much as I wanted to leave my schedule completely open to whim, I also had travel planned. . . and then we decided to move. So lists were necessary at times.
I recognise the stage you're at, and it sounds as if you're adjusting well. . .
Yes, "this particular moment in life. A wish to look back in order to look forward."
Having worked either freelance (from home, usually part-time or at least around my life) or been a teacher (early hours, home by 4pm except during report times etc), I am now, age 50, working a full-time corporate job for the first time ever. Suddenly what was an easy to-do list of five or six items on top of work and general commitments seems absolutely impossible. Interestingly, however, I AM managing to prioritise yoga, so some days I do a short practice after work, some days before work, and on Tuesdays I once more have a private class, which is my treat to myself. But time for writing and knitting and even reading seems to have disappeared – on weekends the only thing that seems to work for me is cooking, mindless & meditative & comforting. I have faith my new routines will work themselves out …
That's a huge adjustment, that move to a full-time corporate job. I'm impressed that you are keeping the yoga going — and so pleased for you that you're treating yourself to that weekly private class. I'm also happy that you keep posting your cooking — inspiring, mouth-watering, and also gorgeously photographed.
For a number of years before I retired at the end of last year, I used bullet journaling as a means of capturing what I needed to accomplish both professionally and personally. I kept up this method (e.g. a very organized list method) on a daily basis until about a month ago when inexplicably I just stopped doing it. I still write in the book (separate from my writing journal), but now it resembles a stream of consciousness list, rather than a daily to-do one. I still put a little box by each item and go back when the task is completed to check it off with a red pen–so satisfying (insert smirk). Mondays do seem like a good day to consider tasks for the day/week, but I also add to the list now as I think of things throughout the week. Since my husband still works, weekends are much as they have always been except now I do not run errands nor need I try to catch up with all the things I couldn't do during the work week that included a daily commute from hell. My list looks much as yours does, with the exception that some of my items consist of tasks that are long term or involve the cooperation of other people or the weather (…and good luck with that, she says with a laugh).
I've never done a bullet journal, but I'm really intrigued (honestly, I just love the paper and the covers — a sucker for stationery, that's me!)
My list is more like a stream-of-consciousness list as well, or like cluster brainstorming, although I've written it as a list here.
Ah yes, "the cooperation of other people or the weather" . . . good luck indeed!
Yup! I still reassess my week on Sunday afternoons.
Five years into retirement, and two years after the crises with my mom died down, my to-do list has become much simpler. Mostly what happened is that I no longer make specific note of house and garden care – I just know those are my areas of responsibility and I do them throughout the week. Deciding to write the book during the week and blog only on Saturday helped too – I always knew what to do with my morning urge toward words. You are far more ambitious than I, I spend more time just staring at the sky aiming for bliss.
also "died down" was a poor choice of words, Mom's still pretty healthy except for the Alzheimer's.
I don't think I'm more ambitious at all and I'm just as keen on bliss, although not so good at sky-staring. . . 😉
I do find that the writing down helps me remember to make my stuff a priority, and I guess I have a lot of stuff. Magpie, that's me 😉
Five years since your first or your second retirement? 'cause if the latter, I'm gobsmacked at the way that wheel of time is turning. . .
The second! And I know…
Funny how we perceive the scope of each other's to-do lists. Something that calls for an in-person chat, I think:).
yes. . . .let's see if we might ever plan for that 😉
This year I have established a quite regular Monday morning walking/breakfast routine with a former colleague. A great start to the week, we have about 6 restaurants on our rotation, each giving us a good walk of about 10k.
I only list specific tasks (call the plumber) not leisure. Appointments and plans go on the calendar. Everything else lives in my head and is moved around as I see fit.
I'm also three years post-retirement and have loved this way of living since the first day. I have a big landscaping job and a basement/kitchen reno coming up at my house in the next months, so have had to pull out some old skills and am glad they're still there. (Ha ha…welcome back spreadsheets, flow charts, project plans and most of all, tact in meetings…and lists, lists and more lists.)
I love that "walking to breakfast" plan and wish I had someone nearby to do that with.
Have fun with the reno and landscaping — you're fortunate to have those skills at hand. . .
After four months of mostly retirement (I still have a project at the university), I miss the classroom, but not the prep and grading. So far, retirement hasn't been much fun. The house has required time and money with a hew hot water heater and roof as well as the newly found black mold in a bathroom that we are just beginning to deal with. Hubby had minor surgery and ended with a staph infection, and it is taking ages to figure out the retirement health care "system" in the US. So my lists are full of plumbers, doctors and bureaucrats! We'll get through this; at least we have resources even if it has meant cutting back on what we hoped to do. May be time to downsize….
I'm the same way: miss the classroom — and some of the prep, tbh — but not the grading . . . And definitely not all the trickle-down admin jobs, the push to Recruit and Retain, the anxiety over numbers, the need to learn a new platform because someone new got hired at a VP level and . . . well, you already know what I'm talking about.
I'm so sorry you're having to face so many maintenance issues so quickly. And the health care system stuff — ugh! I hope it gets sorted before too long. I find myself saying the same thing "at least we have resources" and wondering how those without survive. . .
As for downsizing — when you're ready, I have to say I recommend it, but it's an adjustment, absolutely. . .
This has been really interesting reading. I’ve bee. Retired for quite a few years….very early retirement by choice. I have loved every minute of it. But, even after all these years, Monday morning is still Monday morning. I know I still register the sense of the beginning of the week, and make plans in my head. If things don’t get done, there is always next Monday.
Ali
Yes, this is rather what I'm like — there's rarely much urgency about what goes on my Monday morning list, but it's a good vantage point for checking that I'm generally moving in a direction I'm happy with.
I agree,some work is like play and vice versa
My lists are very similar to your's,on daily,weekly and long term basis-I try to find a balance and usually do,but it is very important to me to have basic and general schedule. It is much easier for me.
I have my weekly planner (pen and paper-there is something magical in mind-hand-eye coordination) on the table and I try to group my activities (place-time-category categories)
I'm sure that you'll agree that the plan makes possible all of your many activities,as well
I'm afraid that without the schedule I would end reading all the time
Dottoressa
Yes! I completely agree with there being something magical in the mind-hand-eye coordination) — I've been using Google calendar on my iPhone but I like to move between schedule and tasks/activities on paper.
And I do think that without the list and the schedule, I might be on the couch with a book all the time as well.
You bring up interesting and thoughtful topics, Frances. I'm eight years into retirement and still working out the to-do's out. Like Mary, I did use bullet journaling and loved it for the creative expression it allowed while taking care of business. And, like Mary, I suddenly stopped. I think I was spending too much time on the artwork of laying the bullet journal out instead of working on the list! Yet, I am still drawn to the flexible layout as opposed to pre-printed planners I've used before.
Physical exercise dominates my personal schedule with 3-mile walks, a weekly hiking group, and aerobic classes. So I'm still on a M-F schedule, too.
Increasingly, my husband's health is also requiring more time. Planning/prepping healthy
meals, doctor appointments, and various errands gives us more couple-time as he is not driving much. We strive to enjoy the time because the alternative, him not being here at all, was almost a reality this past year. It's not all smooth, believe me, but rich with sentimental moments.
I find that my projects (like a quilt for granddaughter) take "chunks" of time like Susan said. I work better in concentrated time blocks then a little every day.
I am delighted you mentioned "naps"! :). They do not happen everyday but are an absolute delight when fatigue calls. Also, that first, leisurely sip of coffee on an unhurried morning still brings pleasure!
Thanks for initiating this topic (lists and time management) that I have been mulling over in my own retirement lifestyle.
Charlene H
I'm intrigued by the creative possibilities of bullet journaling, but for now, I think I'll steer clear of any new project 😉
You're inspiringly wise in your gratitude for the couple-time your husband's health insists on — and the way you work to keep that positive.
And yes, I'm a big fan of naps — nature's nurse, imho. . . .not everyday, but when I need and/or can manage one, it's such a luxury. . .