Ci vediamo, Roma!

No words for the tangle of emotions here this morning as we pack up to head north, through the Alps, eventually to Paris again. I’ll try to sort them out on the train this afternoon. Poor Pater. There may be tears…

So many memories. Riding opposite these cousins and sisters-in-law, watching my daughter engage in a long conversation in Italian with the woman sitting next to me. This woman spoke 4 or 5 languages and had advice to share on how my daughter could learn quickly (television factored largely) and how she could make sure her daughter did (early school! Register now! 18 months is not too early!)

Wandering beautiful Roman streets with our daughter who has learned them with a baby strapped on, or wheeled ahead across daunting intersections, who chats with merchants in the Italian she is quickly picking up (although not yet giving herself credit for), who has developed a credible, functional map of a city that seems barely intelligible to me yet. (I do love a grid!)

Watching our son with his daughter, Seeing again how loving and patient and calm is my daughter-in-law, seeing the two families manage the inevitable stresses of sharing a small urban space for a few weeks…

Their sharing allowing for moments like this

And this.

All of us traveling by train for an unforgettable day trip to the recovered ruins of ancient Ostia, where I took this photo of the family we have to leave behind for now.

I’ve held both of the “little girls” in that picture, sleeping, many times. And now I’m walking away from so many cuddles and sleeping-baby moments, and I know the baby in that photo is pole-vaulting toward adulthood in ways only we Nana’s can understand. I’m trying to figure out what I can rearrange to maximize my Frankie-time while she’s still young. Meanwhile, my loves, thinking of you and missing you already and if computer screens really emulated paper, there would be teardrops muddling the ink right here. . .

Xo, nana, Mom….

 

 

 

29 Comments

  1. Anonymous
    13 October 2015 / 9:12 am

    Such a beautiful, heartfelt post …. thank you for sharing these moments with your family. I think your idea of reading to her on Face Time is an inspired one and will help to keep the feelings of closeness. When my son was at Uni, after we had chatted on FaceTime I would be left with the feeling that I d actually seen him and been together in the same room . . .
    Take care …
    Rosemary

    • materfamilias
      18 October 2015 / 12:01 am

      Thanks, Rosemary. The FaceTime/Skype technology is such a boon! Glad it kept you feeling connected with your son.

  2. Anonymous
    13 October 2015 / 11:28 am

    It is so emotional and beautiful!
    No more words needed. My thoughts are with you
    Rosemary is righr, Skype or FaceTime could help (a little :-))
    You have to plan longer visits,staying with them for a while
    And they will visit,too
    And time goes by so quickly
    Dottoressa

    • materfamilias
      18 October 2015 / 12:03 am

      I am working on a longer visit, just as you suggest. Time passes so quickly, but there are no plans for them to come back home. . .

  3. Unknown
    13 October 2015 / 2:35 pm

    I heard and felt this beautiful post right in my solar plexus! Made me tear up. You've been living I dream trip my family could never duplicate. You're very blessed.
    Xx

    • materfamilias
      18 October 2015 / 12:05 am

      It's true. I'm very lucky in having these family times together. We're so impressed that our sons family put their resources into a trip to visit his sister and let the little girls play together. So sweet to see them.

    • materfamilias
      18 October 2015 / 12:11 am

      I've been so lucky, Jennifer. I see you have your daughter home right now. Enjoy that special time!

  4. Anonymous
    13 October 2015 / 3:59 pm

    This…thank you for sharing such a special and emotional time. Leaving our daughters and grand babies is always difficult and like you, I am always trying to find more ways to have more time together. Beth in Portland

    • materfamilias
      18 October 2015 / 12:12 am

      It is tough, isn't it? It does mean we really make the time together count, right?

  5. Pondside
    13 October 2015 / 6:31 pm

    It's the worst and the best – holding the little ones , hearing them say your name, watching them take you for granted, just enough to feel truly part of their lives ……..and then having to say adieu.
    This was such a heart wrenching post – every grandmother will identify with it.
    Feeling for you…………

    • materfamilias
      18 October 2015 / 12:13 am

      Yes! This is what bothers me: I'm getting her to trust me, take me for granted, and then I'm not there for her. Of course, she had her wonderful parents there, but I wish I could make promises… Thank you! (Was Your trip restorative?)

  6. Duchesse
    13 October 2015 / 10:43 pm

    Oh what memories, what photos… and if tears, yes, because these are times of such meaning, and so precious.

    • materfamilias
      18 October 2015 / 12:15 am

      This is the important truth, K. Precious always comes with a cost, and I'll pay it in tears if I have to.

  7. Madame Là-bas
    13 October 2015 / 10:55 pm

    Oh, you will "tear up" for sure. The babies together are so beautiful! You have all shared such a magical time together.

    • materfamilias
      18 October 2015 / 12:15 am

      Aren't they sweet together?! Such a fleeting moment…

  8. K.Line
    14 October 2015 / 1:05 am

    What a gorgeous post!

    • materfamilias
      18 October 2015 / 12:15 am

      Thank you, K!

  9. Anonymous
    14 October 2015 / 3:49 am

    What a lovely, delicate, and wrenching post, Frances, about the precious moments we spend with our loved ones who live far away from us. My immediate family all live far away from me, and we treasure our brief times together. Your family is beautiful. Brenda

    • materfamilias
      18 October 2015 / 12:17 am

      I like your family as an example, Brenda. You seem so close, despite the geographical distance, and I see that it's possible. Thank you.

  10. annie
    14 October 2015 / 8:58 am

    My grandmother used to say to me, when sad at leaving, If there were no goodbyes, there would be no hellos.
    True. And not too trite.
    Keep them in your heart and let modern technologies work there marvels. Skype is something of a mixed blessing but a gift indeed when you long to see your children.
    As ever mater, onward! Also: Ostia. What's not to like?

    • materfamilias
      18 October 2015 / 12:17 am

      Your grandmother was a wise woman!
      And yes, Ostia! We have to go back!

  11. Catherine
    14 October 2015 / 5:58 pm

    It is so hard, to be separated from those we love. My heart goes out to you, but what a lovely family you have, and how you are blessed, too x

    • materfamilias
      18 October 2015 / 12:32 am

      Thanks, Marianne. I know you suffer the same affliction, but you're right that we have lovely ones worth missing…

  12. Mardel
    15 October 2015 / 12:55 am

    Such a beautiful, and heartfelt post. Sadness and joys, and love traveling around the world.

    • materfamilias
      18 October 2015 / 12:33 am

      All that life stuff, all mixed up, always, right?

  13. Janet Higgs
    15 October 2015 / 4:33 am

    Thank you for sharing such heartfelt moments. I really feel your emotions. I live in California and every time I leave my daughter, son-in-law and grandson, I move through such a range of emotion. All your babies are beautiful (older and younger).

    • materfamilias
      18 October 2015 / 12:35 am

      How often do you get to see each other, Janet? And is your grandson old enough that he knows you know, despite the time apart?

  14. Anonymous
    16 October 2015 / 11:06 pm

    Oh, how lucky you are to have such a family even when partings are difficult. Think what it would be like to have no one to leave…They are just beautiful and the love among all of you is obvious.
    Lynn

    • materfamilias
      18 October 2015 / 12:36 am

      So true, Lynn. Parting is such sweet sorrow, as the Bard said…

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