I was home getting a drink and using the toilet in between loops of my long run this morning when the slanting sunlight of an early Fall morning lit the autumn foliage in the back garden. So I grabbed my camera, took a longer break than planned, slowed down to admire. . . .
The big event that’s been playing havoc with my time and energy lately (not to mention the adrenaline and cortisol it’s stress-pumping through my system) happens this week. I’m close to admitting that everything just might work, although I’ve still got a big list I’ll be checking tasks off, right until Thursday evening.
I’m still moving Retirement up on my agenda, but as work seems to be tipping back to a more manageable balance, I hope that I’m getting back to leaving because of other aspects of life I want to participate in more fully, rather than leaving because I feel my work has become too stressful. I’ve loved so much of it, felt so pleased to have achieved the PhD fairly late in life, had that wonderfully meaningful work right in my own community — such a richness! I would love to go out feeling the same way, fortunate until my last day, happily anticipating the next possibilities.
Autumn, a resplendent season, brilliantly rich, all that memory of spring’s unfurling, summer’s basking in the heat, the foliage and berries vibrant in new ways, their colours heightened in anticipation of the stripping back soon to come. . .
And me, still running. . . . (22.5 kilometres today, 15 of them a tough push!)
Please excuse the word verification I have temporarily activated for the commenting feature here. As much as I dislike this potential impediment to your ever-so-welcome comments, I’ve been increasingly irritated, then frustrated, then just angry with a growing number of spam comments in my mailbox for screening. I’m hoping the Word Verification may divert them to some other unfortunate target, and perhaps after a week or two, they’ll move elsewhere — at which point I’ll take the Word Verification off. My apologies. And my thanks in anticipation of your working through this extra step to leave me your thoughts. Always much appreciated.
Stunning scenery! You might think about your work as comprising different aspects; separate the achievement of earning the PhDand the pleasure you get in the work from the workload and other conditions that are so stressful. That then invites you (or anyone) to think more broadly about how to use your talents and retain you love of your field. And, wow, what a run!
Good advice, and it's what I'm happily moving back towards, I hope, focusing in the next year on what I love about my job while getting ready to move along. There is so much out there I'd like to do!
Such beautiful autumn colours! La Duchesse' s advice is very wise. Your educational accomplishment and the joy of teaching is distinct from your actual employment. You can create a situation in retirement where these positive aspects are still a part of your life. It will work out.
You're a good example of this, Mme. L-b! Like you and Duchesse, I'm hoping there will be some intense French lessons post-retirement as well. . .
The colours of your garden are so beautiful! We had a wonderfully warm weekend, with sun and temperatures up to 24 degrees. I just spent half an hour on my balcony with a book and a cup of tea, listenig to the little boys of the neighbourhood kicking their ball on the playground across the street.
I know the ups and downs of thinking about retirement. Although I am pretty sure that I haven't got much choice but to continue until I'm 65, these last two weeks I have had my doubts about whether my strength will really last all that time. At the moment I feel a bit more confident. After all, I want to enjoy these last years, not only wait for them to pass.
Wow! We had a lovely day today (until the rain!), but nothing like 24 degrees! I love your description of your tea, book, and that ball being kicked around, those hollers and cries.
I'll be stopping almost 3 years short of 65, all going as planned, and since I started so late, I won't have much pension. But I keep going through periods that are like the ones you describe, and there's no way to step away at those times, and regain strength, only to soldier through, or so it seems. Like you, I'm currently feeling more confident, but I think I'm going to get while the getting's good . . . ups and downs, as you say . . . good luck with your own planning.
Oh how I wish we could sit in a café together! In summary, I've contributed to my field after ceasing formal employment. You can, too, and the pleasure of that is only heightened by not being so tired and low. Yes to "while the getting's good", too!
I know we'll have that long, rambling, satisfying chat in a Montreal café one day — once I'm retired (perhaps before) the plans to visit Montreal again become more realistic. I do know there are some ways I can/could still contribute — the question will be whether that's compatible with the changes overwhelming that environment, and whether my motivation will be strong enough. Time will tell. Thanks for the encouragement!
Oh beautiful colors! I have to echo Duchesse's advice as well. Retirement may offer different paths for using your skills and talents, and honoring that degree as well.
And you're all such wise women, I'd better listen! Really, I'd love just to get back to reading for reading's sake, to having big swathes of untrammeled time. Pretty sure that is probably an illusion, one that three weeks of retirement is likely to destroy, but I'm hanging onto it for now! 😉
So, second try at sending this…I am of the opinion that what is worth holding onto is the fact that you have achieved your ambition to teach and now it is time to contemplate moving on. Pondering the beauties of autumn will help – all things must pass and the leaves of autumn give way to the shoots of spring after the starkness of winter.
Honestly, why I am not appreciated by more people is a mystery to me. As ever, Mater, as ever…
Aw, thanks for persevering, Annie — I appreciate you very much indeed. And I think you hit the nail on the head. I'm actually done with this in some important ways. I might post on this at some point, but should probably be careful how much I say while I'm still employed . . .
I agree with how stunning the photos are. It still 80 degrees here with just slightly cooler mornings so no autumn colors for us.
When I think about retiring I think about teaching part-time. But then I would still be tied to the university schedule… so many issues to think about. Also fresh starts if we're lucky.
Lynn
Wow! That's warm! No kind of autumn at all, that!
I've thought about part-time, but like you, I think being tied to any schedule might defeat the purpose. I think I need at least a year when I could travel when I want or stay home for days in a row if I want or go babysit the grandkids for 2 weeks if that's my preference.
A fresh start would be fun, I think, and I wonder if we might stumble on one. Or make one happen, somehow. . .
An addition to all these thoughts of starting something new. One of my favourite poems. Here is the link, although I cannot judge the quality of the translation into English. myweb.dal.ca/waue/Trans/Hesse-Stufen.html
Thanks for this, Eleonore. The English translation seems clumsy to me, but the poem is wise, moving. One of my colleagues does German-English translations (professionally), and I'll ask her if she knows a good translation for me. I'd like a copy to keep.
Lovely images of your tiny island, Mater. I'm glad your schedule is settling into equilibrium, in spite of the big event this week. Duchesse's words are wise.
Thanks, Lorrie. I wish I didn't get so anxious — I think it might all turn out quite well, probably despite my worries, rather than thanks to them . . . 😉