As I mentioned last post, my son and daughter-in-law are here for the weekend to talk wedding plans. So that’s been joyous. A few tricky things to iron out, but nothing’s stressful at this stage since we’re still months away. We do wish we’d lined up better tides for that particular afternoon — there won’t be much beach for the actual ceremony. Still, there will be good will and much ingenuity, and we’re confident solutions will be found, substitutions can be made.
The possibility of rain makes us nervous, but only momentarily. We’ll have some covered areas in the (canvas) wings — tarping the pergola, slinging another tarp from tall trees over the small dance floor we’re having built on the patio. We can all crowd inside if it pours and that will be part of the day’s memories.
Island logistics are trickier: all food, plates, glasses, rental chairs, beverages require transport from town so we’ve hired a small barge service. Ferries that day will be busy already with summer crowds so we’re trying to get an alternative chartered. We hope most guests will enjoy the novelty of the 15-minute walk from ferry to our home, but we’ll probably have to line up some borrowed transport from a kindly neighbour or two. We’ve already had kindly neighbours lend us accommodation for those guests who shouldn’t have to stay at a hotel in town, the bride’s family especially.
But we did this eight years ago for our eldest daughter’s wedding, albeit with a smaller guest list, and it all worked out brilliantly. Key to the success, we think, was our daughter and son-in-law’s decision to base the event around our classic summer entertaining staple, the gourmet sausage! We have an artisan sausage maker in town and a variety of their sausages, barbequed and served up in a very good bun with a stellar array of supporting condiments makes the lowly hot dog into an easy yet delicious meal that sets the tone for celebratory yet casual fun. 3 or 4 salads round the meal out and ensure enough vegetarian fare. A few kegs of beer, some good bubbly and wines chosen by the sommelier bride, and it’s a party. When the dancing crowd works up an appetite again late in the evening, pots of chili with more of the buns will provide the energy to keep that party going.
But that’s all months and months away. Once we’d got the rough outlines sketched yesterday afternoon, Joey (my future DIL) and I got to the really serious business: looking at shoes for the wedding. We even set up a Pinterest board here. Have a peek.
Our plans for today, though, are much more sombre as we’ll be attending an island memorial for our good friend and wonderful neighbour, Mike. I know this will be a difficult and tearful event, but also a profound and moving demonstration of Mike’s importance in our community, as well as of our community’s closeness. And I’m so moved (and proud, quite honestly, as a mother) that my son and DIL took precious weekend time and drove the considerable distance to honour Mike by coming to the memorial. Their company gives me comfort in our loss, but also I think it augurs well for their marriage that their life together includes honouring others through community.
My fingers stutter on the keyboard, having followed my wandering mind to the place where an easy conclusion seems unlikely, inappropriate. Please pardon them for failing at the task. . . Life’s bigness must occasionally sprawl off the edges of these narrow blog columns . . . perhaps sprawl right into your comments on my messy post. . . .
It's amazing how life and death coexist in this post. I'm so sorry that you have to attend this memorial but I will be giving you my positive thoughts…
Thanks, Kristin. It was a tumultuously emotional afternoon, but oddly satisfying. As my son said, cleansing (he wept buckets).
Not a messy post at all! Full of love, reality, and helpful party planning tips 🙂
So sorry to hear of your neighbor's passing, and thank you for sharing these precious pieces of yourself with us. I hugged my babies (13 & 16, but my babies nonetheless!) tightly after reading your post. You've reminded me that life is too short to dwell on the small stuff.
Take care
robyn
Really, that's all we can do, right? Make the most of the time we have with loved ones. Good for you!
Not messy, just open and honest. Life's bigness is overwhelming at times.
Thanks for understanding, Alison.
Sorry to hear that your island has lost a great fellow.
Your post is full of emotion and with a wedding to plan and saying goodbye to a friend it's to be expected.
Happy shoe shopping, that's something that always makes me smile!
Take care mater,
Hostess
XO
Yes, shoes are a welcome distraction . . . they don't call it retail therapy for nothing!
More original thinkers than I have noted that life is messy – so if it spreads over the edges a bit it's to be expected, given the loss to your island community.
Wedding plans – I can't imagine what this would be like with a bride with issues. Thank goodness Lillypad is easy-going and eager to make the whole thing a good, big party!
We're lucky, as well, that our bride is easy to get along with. Can't imagine dealing with a Bridezilla — I'd have zero patience.
I know that passings always give me pause. I would be scribbling in my journal rather than a blog. This wedding sounds like so much fun!
You find time for journalling as well? But you're right — there's so much that was too personal, too intense for the kind of blog I've got here. And yes, we do hope the wedding will be fun, above all!
Life and its celebrations, at various points, all within your view… beautiful post, ma.
Thanks, K. Even when we keep it out of sight, it's always within our view, really, isn't it?!
I don't think there is any way to do much about life and death other than note it. Sometimes I'm kind of amazed that we manage to keep going, knowing that death comes in the end. But weddings are so lovely, then, that how should we not keep going?
I remember marvelling at my dad, ravaged by cancer, under 100 lbs (down from his lifetime 200+) reading a mystery novel — how could he care? Yet we do, we must, and weddings are, at least, much more enticing than finding out who dun it!